Love and Orgasms

I ran out of the ball
I know you might think I’m echoing the Cinderella story, but I’m not.
No, my slipper wasn’t that of glass.

I ran.
Straight into the parking lot and started looking for the chauffeur. I was going to Kitengela to save my marriage. To beg the father of my child to make things right between us.
I had to get there before the news of my engagement got to him.

I had said yes to Kyle. But only to avoid embarrassing him. It was subconscious. I ran out right after he put that 7carat diamond ring on my finger. I recognised the ring because I’d one time hinted at how nice it would feel to own it.

All this time I was trying to think of ways I could have my cake and eat it. Get the money and still keep the love of my life.

Because Mark showed me a passion so igniting. And his head game?
Well I know you guys know Kyle was good. But with Mark, it was different.

Plus Kyle has HIV. No way I’m letting that man near me sexually. I had been lucky enough to escape the jaws of eternal condemnation.

“Yo Brian, where’s Mark?” I asked his best friend immediately I got to the party. No time for small talk. I needed to make sure he heard the news from the horse’s mouth.

I had changed into jeans as I had passed home to breastfeed. I needed the benefit of comfortability.

The place was swarming with half drunk grown ups. Everyone was staring.
Bloody tell me where my husband is!! The 7 carat bling overshadowing my wedding band.

And then Mark walked in. His normally jovial face, masked with anger. Grief. Disappointment, or maybe he was just drunk.
He passed me on the patio and went straight into the house saying hi to everyone else.
Here we go again. A bout of man moods.

I waited for him. He came out, drink in hand.
God knows I love the liquor breath on my man. I was leaning on a car.
I pulled him to myself. He signaled that we sit.

“Mark baby we need to talk. You need to listen so we can sort. I have shocking but amazing news. I’ve landed a gold mine.”

“No Robin. I’m drunk. I didn’t come here to talk. I came here for Jansen’s party, not to have a couple’s conversation.”

This was going to be difficult. Dealing with his dismissive nature was mentally exhausting.
All these years but this man still gave my nerve endings an awakening. Breath on breath. I was craving his lips. I was tired of the fighting. Maybe Kyle’s fortune was what would save us. I pulled him to Jimmy’s car.

We got in. My real intention was to tell him what I had done and what I wanted.  But, you know sometimes you just cannot explain the sexual power surges that go through your veins. I was on top of him,  our crotches in a slight dalliance, kissing my man vehemently. Mine. My man.

The whiskey I was drowning myself in on my way to Kitengela was kicking in.

Lip biting.
It was just like the first time.

Three seconds into conversation and chill and my top was off.

Oh Mark you just get me!!

I was nibbling on his neck how he loved it and nothing at that time gave me more satisfaction than hearing his whimpers. His rapid breathing, blood was definitely gushing to the right places.

All this while he was grabbing my ass and taking off my pants.
Have you had angry sex before in a friend’s car at a party with everyone else looking in on you but you don’t care?
The thrill of the forbidden fruit…

And the riding began. I felt like I was feeding my heart. Looking right into his eyes as he let my name out in low voiced moans.
He occasionally bickered about how I needed to get off him and stop.

Hell nah. I needed to show him what he was going to miss in on if he continued to drift off.
I mean, I was willing to overlook his shortcomings. I was willing to forgive him and build our love a fresh.

We switched and he was now on top of me.
Jimmy came to the car to get more drinks but that didn’t stop us. It was practically an open show for those who unintentionally came to the car only to find us.
We didn’t care.

Sweet love making. Slow thrusts with precise grabbing. And then he stopped to eat me out.

Jeso!
This tongue. This tongue was made for me.
And we were back at it.
My head was practically out the other side of the car but we didn’t care. And with each stroke I was letting out loud moans and this excited him more.

And then he stopped. He just stopped and ordered me to dress up.
What?
Please usiwai fanyia mschana ii ujinga. Smh. How do you stop someone mid-sex??

“I came to this party to have fun. Not to hang out in a car and waste time with you. If I wanted that I’d have stayed home. This is not talking. Let us talk since you wanted to so bad, I’ve got a few things I need to say as well…”

I tried to seduce him into continuing but he was done.

“Mark I have tried so hard. I’ve ran out of ways to keep us together. I just need your final decision. Tell me. Do you want this? Do you still love me? I don’t care about what you’ve done, I just need to know if we’re together or getting divorced. I’m tired…”

He cut me off. He assured me that he loved me, but was in a dilemma. Naturally I asked and his response dried my pussy in an instant.

“Shanice is pregnant,” he said.

“Yeah, so what? Good for her. What does that have to do with our marriage?”

I was playing coy but I knew what he was going to say.

“I’m responsible. I got her pregnant. I’m sorry, you know I love you with all my heart, but I need time. I need to think about things. I need to know as well if you’ll wait till I can sort this out.”

What do you mean sort this out? You’re my husband. An array of thoughts were now tormenting my mind.
An abortion was the only way to sort it out, until I found out that she was due in a month’s time.
Shanice was Mark’s colleague and old time friend.

It doesn’t end there. He went on to rumble about how he was in love with another. Stephanie if I’m not wrong, and that’s where I had had it!
Stephanie? The girl he constantly denied ever having an affair with. It all brewed under my nose. I should have smelt it.
He would constantly go on trips with her. They were friends, plus she was married. I trusted him.
😢
Everything he said after that is still a blurr. I dressed up, went into the house where everyone was giggling, far from the brink of sobriety. Maybe it was because I had only one shoe on and my hair was a mess from the car action. I got a few shots and decided I was leaving. Everything was just too much to take in all at once.

I went back to get my shoe and when he sarcastically congratulated me on my engagement, I told him to expect divorce papers in a week’s time, that I would be happy if he signed.
I took off my wedding ring and handed it to him.
I had lost the will to fight and it was the last he would see of me in person.
How do I fight for a man who was giving up on me? At the expense of our marriage and child? A man who was handing out semen like it was sweets at a party.

The pain. My tears.
Stephanie? Shanice? I was done.

                 ~a month later~                 

I’m standing on this altar looking upon all my guests. I have an expensive dress on. An expensive ring on. An extravagant life ahead. A sickly Kyle by my side. A huge smile on my face, but immense grief in my heart.

Shanice was giving birth on the same day I was getting married to Kyle.

It’s okay.
I was doing this for my child’s future. I was doing this to secure my financial needs as well as Mark’s but he didn’t see it.  I consoled myself.

I cannot be miserably heartbroken as well as broke. I needed to pick a struggle.

Kyle would soon die and I would wipe my tears away with Louis Vuitton handkerchiefs. It was better than fighting with Mark in an apartment I was struggling to pay for. Or was it?

It’s okay. We can’t have it all.
I hope you are happy Mark.
I hope Shanice is what you really wanted. Sorry, I mean Stephanie.

I have met my husband, and it was never you.

I arrived at the Annual Presidential Ball at around 7pm. Everyone else was already seated and the dinner had commenced. I skipped the red carpet because I wanted little or no recognition in the tabloids. I had only one agenda to fulfil and as soon as I was done, I would leave.

Kyle had instructed his chauffeur to pick me up. With a ready assembled outfit as usual.
He always sent me what to wear any time we planned to meet at sophisticated events. Also, he generally loved showering me with gifts.
I’m not quite sure if it was my attire he abhorred or the latter, but I never asked.

By 6pm that evening, I was enroute to The State House, which was the venue for this ball.
I know I never learn. But this time I needed to reconcile with him. I needed it all to auger well with my soul, plus he was a walking time bomb. I believe he was approaching his final stages of AIDS. But he was a strong man, a strong man who I loved still. A strong man who worshipped the ground I walked on, and so, naturally, I was his plus one for the night.

I took my phone to check if Mark had tried to call me. Nothing.
I checked my messages. Nothing. This man!
I called him but it went straight to voicemail. I left him a message saying that I missed him and that I loved him. I told him I had gone out and thus would be getting very drunk.
I told him that I was aware he was ignoring me, but I would still text him each hour as well as attempt to call him.
Mark hadn’t come home for a week now. But I could see on his social media that he was having fun. All that I needed to know was that he was alive.

It had been well over two years since I had seen Kyle. Since our little situation with Mark in the private alley when he found us engaging in some fleshy action. Mark was his best friend. I had betrayed him. But here I was, conforming to his invites, again.

The hall was magnificent. I was in the presence of dignitaries and the ‘have it alls’ of the country. Models, celebrities, the elite. Kyle had in vain tried to make me get accustomed to this life, but I was contented with my not-so-glamorous life.
It had been a rough five years since the first time I laid my eyes on Kyle and on this night, as he was walking towards me, I started reminiscing.
It all quickly flashed before my eyes, the trips abroad, the love he showed me, the way he still opened doors,pulled chairs and introduced me as his wife.

And the night Olive had us at gun point. The night she blew her brains out in close range. How could I forget that night. The night my heart was shattered into myriads of pieces. The first time Kyle had made sweet love to me. The night I found out he was HIV positive.

He was definitely looking sickly. A frame of what he used to be. A caricature of the Kyle I once knew. My Kyle.
Damn, money makes people look good though. Other than the weight loss, this man was still sharper than any man in sight.

“Hey, are you okay?” He beckoned.
I immediately snapped out of my stupor as he led me to our seats.
‘You look as beautiful as I could ever imagine. I had missed you my love…”

My love? I couldn’t speak. I was so overwhelmed with emotion.

He was in a red coat. His outfit complimented mine as I was in black with a red lip.
Elegance.
He always had his suits custom made. I could go on, but Kyle was looking very good.
His cologne wafted and lingered. I had missed him.

After the meal and speeches, the ball was set rolling and masqueraded couples were poured onto the open space for the routine fox trot and waltz.

“Will you dance with me?” he asked me, holding his hand out, expecting me to hold it in return.

“Wait, Kyle, we need to talk. I need to apologise for what I did. I need to explain to you what happened between Mark and I, you need to know why I left you…”
He hushed me. Signaling that it was okay. That he didn’t need to hear about Mark.

No. This is not how it was supposed to go. He needed to know. I was only here to talk and leave. I reckoned that since he had reached out, I owed it to him to be there.

I agreed.

We walked over to where people were dancing and we began. I was familiar with these routines. A fox trot ensued.

“Baby, the day you walked out of my life, you killed me. But I’m glad you came today. I was afraid you wouldn’t as you have religiously been ignoring my advances. I was praying you would come.” He continued. “I wanted to let you know that you are in my will. All of my fortune is in your name. Everything!”
I gasped, “what?”… He hushed me again.

“Darling I just need you to listen. You and my sons are my sole heirs. We both know that my time here is limited and if you cannot be with me forever, then I need you to be with my sons. I love you. I forgive you.”

This wasn’t the time to be giving me such revelations.
My mind was in turmoil. And just then, Mark’s message came through. I was holding my phone so reflexively, I checked to read.

I’m at a party in Kitengela. At the Jansen mansion. Come if you want us to talk.

A clear finality in the text. No enthusiasm whatsoever. All from the man I married.

Kyle saw it. But he didn’t care. He calmly asked me to put my phone away and almost instantly started to go down on one knee. An egocentric smirk on his face almost as if to laugh at the mere thought that I could actually go to my jobless husband and leave him.

My chest!

No. Don’t do this Kyle. Don’t.
The band stopped. The crowd dispersed. The spotlight was turned on us.

“All I’ve told you is on one condition. You denounce your affiliations to that bastard Mark, you take this ring and become my wife and hence the rightful owner of my estate. So what do you say?”

And my phone started buzzing. It was Mark calling.

Mark and I had been encountering problems in our marriage.
Soon after I gave birth, he was already seeing other women. He was over indulging in promiscuity and drugs. He had recently lost his job and our lives were crumbling.
The financial strain was getting to us.

Mark would never afford or rather offer me such a ring.
We had a lavish life. But not half as classy as the one Kyle was offering me.

I was trying so hard to salvage him. I was trying to save our marriage and look past all the dishonour but here was Kyle, offering me a second chance at life on a silver platter. I was conflicted.

I was battling with logic and rationalism. Love or wealth?

My phone buzzed again.

“Robin, will you marry me?”

Utter silence except for the buzzing of my phone and the loud piercing glares from the now eager AF audience.

Was I going to say no to this man in front of all these people?
On national TV? In the presence of the president? Nah fam. I’m savage, but I’m not stupid.

Ok wait, I’m stupid. I forgot the press was here.
There goes my discretion. So much for avoiding the red carpet.
Oh shit. Mark?

No. He possibly couldn’t be watching the telly at a party. Or could he?
Naaah. People don’t watch the TV at parties. Plus I had my masquerade mask on.

He signaled for the mic to be handed over to him.

“Robin, my love. Will you marry me?”

Yeah. Bastard had to call out my name. Way to go Kyle! Way to go!! -_-

As if I hadn’t heard him the first a thousand times pre-mic.

That ring was the most beautiful thing I had laid my eyes on.

I just stood there.
My phone buzzed again.
It was Mark.

Intuition?

Yeah. Coincidence maybe.
I don’t think I’d sense if a bitch was somewhere proposing to my man.

I picked the call.