February 2017 – Love and Orgasms

If you see him…

by roberttabobbie / 12 February 2017

We were watching TV on the couch. I was lying on him, just thinking…

How did we get here? Not in a surreal way, but like, ‘oh my, it’s happening!’ kind of way.

He was so engrossed in the show, but I kept stealing glances, wondering if he thought exactly what I was thinking. This was a fence we were perching on, you know, like when you’re at loggerheads with your brain and genitals. He is perfect. Such a beautiful man. He makes my clit throb. I want to talk about my heart but that is not why we are here…

He tells me I’m beautiful a lot as well. I’ve never told him what I think about him because… I don’t know. He’ll read it here.

“Can I touch your boobs?”

Haha, I couldn’t remember the last time someone asked me such a thing. His fingers got into a slight dalliance with my nipples and the stimulation was almost instant. I was trying to act unphased but his presence was doing things to me…

I couldn’t take it anymore so I got on top of him, my crotch on his, and leaned in for a kiss.
We had spent half of the evening telling stories, laughing off personal experiences of just about everything, just chilling.

There’s this rare intelligence he possesses that my sapiosexual tendencies had been craving for a long time. Someone who can hold a series of conversations, all the while making me laugh is someone I’d love to keep in my life.

We started making out and all this time I was thinking, are you ready for this? Are you ready for a new cycle of games? The monotony of redundancy and pain? The usual ‘make me happy then disappear’ kind of relations… Don’t get me wrong, I know by now how to separate emotions from everything else, but was I ready?

I was scared. I knew how this would end but I was so weak. I could feel every last muscle in my body succumb to his sexual advances. The way he was handling me! His hands were grabbing my butt when he decided to pull down my pants and go in for my lady parts.

Wet. 💧

I think it surprised him, how wet I was. He exclaimed, but I was too hypnotized by the dry humping to hear what he said.

By this time I had my nails deep in his neck. I don’t know why I do this, I guess it’s the assumed association of pain and pleasure… He asked me to ease up on that. I did.

I was in a dilemma whereby, I needed to choose between keeping a friend and/or satisfying my sexual urges. If you know me, then you know how much I love sex, so this was hard! The legitimate choice would be to halt it all and maintain our friendship status, but we were already too deep into it. I knew that mixing business with pleasure would get us in trouble, but I didn’t care…

I asked him to come with me to the room, I held his hand and walked him there, my bed was much more comfortable than the couch.

I jumped on to the bed, and he, with me. Our make out session re-ensued and my hands were already struggling with his belt buckle. He took off his clothes, I took off my shirt and slowly went down on him. He was so hard, I loved it. I shoved his member in my mouth and began sucking on it caressing it with my tongue up until he reached for my hands to hold them. I can’t say how long I was down there, but I sure didn’t want to stop. I could see that he was overwhelmed with pleasure… He couldn’t take it anymore, he was ready for me!

“Take off your tights and sit on this dick!” He ordered me. I love myself a man who is dominant. A man who tells me what to do… He said this in his acting voice, the way he commanded his on-screen wife, it turned me on. For a moment there, I fancied some role play action. There’s something about aggression that drives me haywire!

I did just that. The first thrust was heavenly. I picked up a tempo I was comfortable with and went with that. I could tell he was enjoying it by the way he was holding me, and the occasional pumping from him, he liked it faster, slapping my butt cheeks like he was flogging a horse. Marry me already.

We switched and he got on top then again to doggy. I reminded him that he couldn’t cum inside me. He nodded in agreement, looking at me straight into my eyes like I was giving him blessed vagina. Holy grail.

This is where I lost all my composure because he was giving it to me like we deserved this. I was heaving, the bed was squeaking, he was breathing heavy, his eyes were bloodshot, it was a home run when we finally gave out, him on my back, me on his dick.

This was beautiful😍

I hadn’t done much but was feeling extremely fatigued, he cleaned me up, and asked me to get under the covers with him so we could cuddle.

I was lying on his chest, listening to him snore while I played with his balls, asking myself if this was worth it still. I could feel his heartbeat go in tandem with mine, then I reminded myself that I was nothing but pussy, and that he would leave the next day, and we were required to remain friends ONLY.

It might not have been worth it, but it was better than what I was having before him. I tried to console myself that my then boyfriend was also somewhere on top of someone else, lying that he was single. It’s okay… I was leaving him anyway.

It seemed like a good decision in the heat of the moment.
~xx~

I woke up to him kissing my back and playing with my clit in an attempt to make me wet again. He then slid his dick inside me and the same feeling engulfed me. Immense pleasure, this was what I needed in my life. He gets me. The morning glory was so good. I fell asleep again.

It was at about 11am when I rolled over to face him on his side of the bed.

“Good morning?”

Indeed, I thought, what a fucking wonderful morning! That beautiful smile on his face was something I’d definitely want to wake up to often… This was followed by more rounds of hand-holding sex. You know, the type that’s so good, so intense, you can’t even believe it…we occasionally stopped to talk and I just felt so happy. I can’t explain it.

What was happening 😢

This was not supposed to happen. I kept reminding myself how this was going to end.

I didn’t care though. I was living in the moment. I was enjoying it while it lasted.

~xx~

He hasn’t called me since then. I’ve called him a couple of times to check up on him, but that’s it. I see him on TV though.

Maybe that’s where he belongs, not with me, just in my screen.

I don’t want to think that that’s all I was good for to him. I mean. We were friends before the sex, right?

Maybe I sucked? Maybe I’m not pretty enough?

But he calls me beautiful 😢… He says my smile is nothing short of perfect.

Nope. I don’t think he’d lie to me. Or would he? I’m not sure.

I’m not hurt or angry. I’m not even asking him to be my lover, maybe that’s what he’s scared of?

That’s what everyone is scared of. Me included. I’m scared of being made a fool out of, being taken on a ride.

I’m just aloof. I’m confused.

I’m not in love. Or am I?… No, I can’t be. I shouldn’t be. He told me not to far fall for him because he was messed up, he said the solution to developing feelings was an instant withdrawal.

I’m just dazed still.

If you see him, ask him why he won’t talk to me anymore. I don’t understand.

Tell him I still care about ‘us’. I miss him. I think about him all the time. His kisses on my tummy… The way our fingers interlock when we’re orgasming together.

I miss the way he says things under his breath. His smile. I want to be in his embrace. I want him to fuck me till I cry!

Tell him… No, don’t tell him.

I’ll tell him myself…