Love and Orgasms

I turned to look at him and he was clenching his jaw, pressing the acceleration pad, his eyes steady on the highway. His mouth waxing to form such a gorgeous smile. I was dead drunk, but my seat belt was on. So was his. An adrenaline rush surged through my body as we went faster and faster and I think he noticed I was staring at him.

He reached out for my hand and squeezed it then placed it on his lap, engulfing it in his … I was trying to make out words but the Jägermeister rounds were doing a number on me.

I finally gathered enough words to make up a sentence and leaned over to his ear, this made his smile widen even more. I loved it! The engine revved even louder and my pussy roared in my panties. I couldn’t wait to get home and let him devour me like I was his last meal . A meal just before an execution, his last supper!

“Baby what are you doing tomorrow?” I asked him, hoping he wouldn’t be too busy all day. We both had work, but I needed to have him longer all to myself. I was willing to forgo one day at the office for this.

He turned to me and squeezed my hand again then responded, “The only thing I’m doing tomorrow is you baby! I wanna spend all day with you and give you this dick. I missed you and you know it!”

Words. Words of affirmation. My love language!

I told him that I’d missed him too but if we’re being honest, it’s his mjulubeng I was missing. Lies that build.

XX

“Baby I wanna give you something to write about… your last piece about me was the best thing I’ve ever read.” He went on…

This right here was how I knew that this man was my vagina’s best friend. He cared for her. My clitoris was throbbing and I was about to start getting naked for him in his car.

XX

I woke up to him beckoning me to alight the car as he headed to open to house door for me.

XX

He threw me onto the bed and I knew I was about to go on the best ride of my life! Oh boy! He wanted to give it to me rough ROUGH! I could tell it from the way he exhuded some nasty aggression that night, far from the usual.

He turned me over and undressed me, slowly kissing me from my neck going down to my back, occasionally stopping to make out with me. I was ready for him, I BEEN READDYYY!

He took off his clothes and frantically reached into his pockets to look for rubber. He took the condom out and slowly slid it on to his now hard member and although I was getting impatient, this turned me on even more. He knew how important it was to me for us to be safe and he respected that. A responsible man.

Wasee, najua mnadhani mi hupenda tu mjuolz, well, si uongo, but nadai kuexplain hii story na lugha ya wadhii ndio muelewe mbona naglow. Mmekua mkiniuliza mbona ka-weight kamecome fiti, ooh sijui skin care routine. Siri ni happiness cuz niggas don’t stress me no mo. I been gettin some good luvin’

So huyu mguyz ako on top of me on my back and he slides in. My soul legit left my body. I suspired and heard him let out a low moan as well. Y’all know how sexy it is when your nigga moan yah? He was breathing heavily down my neck, caressing my breasts with one hand as the other explored my body. He really meant it when he said he’d missed me. His hand went down to my pussy and he started rubbing my clit while still kissing me. I was so wet for him!

He started thrusting. Back shots kakienda. Manze nilikua naskia utamu hadi natoa machozi! Saizo amenigrab nywele ni ka mi ni bull anaride kwa rodeo. Brooooo! Katambe. Kanuke budaaaaa!

Champe akanigeuza and now my legs were on his shoulders. Mnatambua ile stingo ya, “a nigga fuck you like this then ask you why you crazy afterwards?” alikua amenikunja vile chapo hukunjwa mara nne na niko hapo begging for mercy. He was fucking me so good and I was screaming at the top of my voice. With each thrust, I let out sensual moans, grabbing him as tight as I could.

Clearly mercy was a rumour because hii mechi ilikua revenge ya kuhepesha ikus wiki kadhaa. Manze he started doing that long strokes thing where anathrust akinichapa na mdaks ni kama anatry kuwasha generator. At this point I was exhausted of cumming. Nilikua nishamwaga but taki iko off the charts na alijua.

Mandem leaned in to kiss me and became romantic all of a sudden. He started telling me how he loves this pussy na he’d missed me so bad. I wanted to cry even more because I love it when he gets sweet. Also, hakuna kitu romantic kama multiple personalities during sekete. One minute tuko telemundo, the next narushwa juu juu.

Immediately after this, he gradually increased his tempo again and I knew this was a home run. I could feel he was about to cum. Ladies, you know how dick throbs when it’s inside you? Yaaaaz. I could feel him. Let me tell you guys that I’m still trying to recover from what happened next because no man on earth has ever achieved this with me.

He was holding me so close and giving me dick like our lives depended on it then I felt it. A warm burst of cum gushed out from my punany like a hydrant had exploded and I couldn’t control it! What had just happened? I remember screaming because the pleasure I felt surpassed anything else I had ever felt before.

Simultaneously, he bust a nut and, my friends, it was romantic. We came, we saw, we conquered that orgasm together. Hadi tukashikana tu kwanza ju hatukuamini tulidishiana ivo.

Wadau, ladies and gentlemen, boys and gyalis, ETHAN made me squirt. My very first time. Tulisonga kukagua sheets, baby boy akaniambia vile he’s so proud of me. Nilifeel vile watu hufeel wakijipata Dean’s list. Mpaka tukagota ju io mradi iliivana.

”Strong Strong mtu nguyaz”

Ethan did that. He did the fuckin ting’!!

XX

I’ll tell you guys about the morning sex and how we fucked all day the next day next time but first, wacheni kusema condoms si form. Ju vile kunaeda, Nairobiiii! Kaswende na kisonono mtapata kama ebola. Si tujipende maguys?

Riba zangu wacha ziwafundishe kukua safe pia. It’s okay to have safe fun, just make sure it’s consensual and protected, sawa?

Till my next fuck, ciao .

Model: Robertta Bobbie

Photography and Editing by: @kibanja_ @roberttabobbie

Other images courtesy of Google, subject to copyright.

C O N N E C T W I T H M E: (click on my name)

Instagram: @roberttabobbie

Snapchat: roberttabobbie

Facebook: Robertta Bobbie

Twitter: roberttabobbie

B U S I N E S S: For business inquiries please contact [email protected]

*Some affiliate links are used, which means I may receive a commission should you decide to click that link and make a purchase. My content is 100% not influenced by brands, PR products received, usage of affiliate links, or brand partnerships.

The first time I met him, I knew I was going to let him rearrange my guts.

It was in his hotel room.

He received me with an unforgettable poise, like our sexual souls spoke telepathically, in short, tulijua tu tutanyanduana.

I have to admit that before this, Ethan had never struck me as a guy I’d be inclined to having this sort of attraction towards. He was close friends with my friend Victor and by default, that dictated that we were bound to interact at some point.

He hugged me on arrival and I could tell he was devouring my petite ass in his head- I was in short shorts and he was walking behind me as I entered his room. I could feel his eyes following me and I liked that.

I sat on his bed. There was a total of five of us in the room, all a bit anxious for the night. A hefty conversation ensued and I was keen to listen to everything he said. His enthusiasm excited me. In person, he was different from what I’d heard or rather what I’d seen. It had only been a few minutes but I had felt his hospitality already. There was something about the way he looked at me and offered me a glass of water or called me ‘babes’ when addressing me… Please don’t laugh; I’m not even trying to exaggerate the sexual innuendo we were both exuding.

That was the first time I met him.

XX

I’m seated on his bed thinking about how this man took me all the way to cloud 9 and back. His smooth tongue, his hands on my body and his sensual authority are what got me confused. I want to say that indeed, there’s a possibility that I’m dickmatized, but I also want to refute that, because i’m the one who was in charge, this was not supposed to happen!

XX

A couple of weeks after our first meeting, we decided to go out as friends, which was quite the norm with us. We met at the club and everything escalated faster than they should have. I was sure I could control my intoxication. I served shots after shots to everyone and we all made merry, marination at it’s best. Yaani, nilikua najiseti bila kutambua. Mi nadhani naleweshana tujibambe, kumbe najilewesha ndio nizundwe. At some point, we were all dancing, up until it got raunchy with Ethan, and I knew this was it!

Ethan had my legs on his laps, massaging me while whispering everything I loved to hear in my ears. He told me how beautiful I was and with every whisper, my clitoris thumped. His hands were moving up my thighs in a bid to massage me better and I couldn’t stop thinking about how I wanted more and more of this. I wanted him to go on but this was not the right place.

I was scared of the attention we would have garnered as well as being unable to control myself around our friends but the more I tried to stop his advances, the more he forged forward. He kept holding me and breathing down my neck. I wanted him so bad!

I love a man who commands authority without speaking it. He was taking charge and I was enjoying every bit. I knew what he wanted and I knew I would eventually give it to him.

XX

We were speeding along the highway and it was exhilarating. I kept staring at Ethan clench his jaws while switching lanes and, the revving of the engine as well as the whole car moving past the wind excited me even more. I must have blacked out on the passenger seat as soon as I put my seatbelt on. I knew we should have left the car and use an Uber instead!

XX

I woke up to Ethan beckoning me to hold his hand so he could help me out his car. We were at his house.

XX

He frantically looked around for a condom and quickly wore it. We had been so ready for each other all night that I don’t even remember us engaging in any foreplay.

As soon as he put his dick inside me, I gasped for air. Even in my drunken stupor, I could actively feel him inside me and I loved every long inch. I don’t even know how our clothes got off our bodies but I know it must have been wild.

With every thrust, I was trying my best to hold myself from screaming out of pleasure. How was It possible that he knew what to do and exactly how to do it? He was blowing my back and licking me down my spine while grabbing me. It was too much for me to take. My moans got louder and louder and I wanted him to grab me closer to him as he caressed my breasts.

Tulikuwa doggy mbayaaa! Ameshikilia matirries ni ka I was a horse and my chest was a harness he needed to hold on to to save his life. I was throwing it back as if my life depended on it as well!

He kept pumping and pumping and each time I kept moaning as loud as I possibly could ever have! He turned me from doggy to missionary and I knew I was going to cum. Have you ever felt so much pleasure you almost passed out? I was overwhelmed!

After a while, I wanted to ride him into the sunset. I told him I wanted to get on top of him and I loved the smirk on his face, almost as if to challenge me. He was going to gerrrriiiiiit!

Unfortunately, I can’t remember what happened after that.

XX

I woke up to kisses on my ass and back, building up to my cheeks, as well as compliments on how even more beautiful I looked in the morning. This man was not only playing with my genitals, but now, my heart was about to get involved. He pulled me closer to cuddle and gave me butt rubs.

I kept saying to myself, “Jesus, if this is you sending this man to confuse me, you better stop!”

I’d like to believe that at the time I was quite unable to assemble any sort of emotional attachment. So, what was this stupid warm fuzzy feeling that I had in my heart?

It was only a matter of time before he wore a condom and got on my back. Again, nani aliambia uyu mjamaa napenda back shots cuz for real, either yeh husoma blogs zangu ama tushaidinyana in another lifetime! He knew everything!

He was my aphrodisiac, I could literally feel everything and I was slowly getting more and more lured into whatever was happening. I could sense an addiction coming on but I was mentally preparing myself. He was fucking me as if he owed me the best sex of my life and I don’t even think he knows it. I loved how he caressed my breasts and helped me arch my back with his thumbs on the dimples in my back. I was so loud I could swear the neigbhours thought we joined the choir. This was a movie and I was determined to make a sequel. He’d set the world between my legs and we were fools for it.

“Daddy, do you like this pussy?!” I kept asking him as he grabbed my ponytail and rammed into my body each time. He kept responding that he loved it and I didn’t want him to stop. Words of affirmation- a love language!

It was getting late and he had to go to work. I’d made him snooze his alarm so many times already, but he chose me again. He turned me vile cabbage ya highschool hukorogwa ndio nikajua hapa ni diambo! i was now looking directly into his eyes and I’m pretty sure this is where i started catching these shits called feelings! The ferocity with which he handled me, gentle yet disrespectful and I liked it like that!

I remember my body shaking when he turned me and put my legs round his neck and that was when the floodgates opened. In all my active sexual years, I have never squirted. NEVER! but today, I was in awe at the over-the-roof dopamine levels in my body! yani huyu mtu alininyandua mpaka nikaambia Mungu anisaidie nisichizi! At this point our hands were locked in grid and I could feel all his energy drain into me as he came, we came together. This was the best sex I’d ever had in my life.

He kissed my thighs as if to thank me for this bomb pussy, then he looked at me and said,

“Babe, if we don’t stop now, hatutatoka hapa, so let me go to work and I’ll call you later. Make yourself at home, get some rest…”

XX

I left just after him, but I couldn’t stop thinking about him even in the shower. I wanted Ethan to make my vagina his home. I wanted him to bang me all day, every day!

I know very damn well he’s not good for me. I even had to block him because a sister would start falling in love if I dared responded to texts, but it’s just the dick that I want.

But, do you think I should call him back? Kufa dere, kufa makanga?

Might I have caught feelings???

Don’t drive drunk! Always call an

Have you tried safe sex with the new Fiesta condoms??

Model: Robertta Bobbie

Photography and Editing by: @ketersammy @roberttabobbie

Other images courtesy of Google, subject to copyright.

C O N N E C T W I T H M E: (click on my name)

Instagram: @roberttabobbie

Snapchat: roberttabobbie

Facebook: Robertta Bobbie

Twitter: roberttabobbie

B U S I N E S S: For business inquiries please contact [email protected]

*Some affiliate links are used, which means I may receive a commission should you decide to click that link and make a purchase. My content is 100% not influenced by brands, PR products received, usage of affiliate links, or brand partnerships.

I looked at myself in the mirror, thinking about the woman I’d become. I was elated at the realisation that I knew for a fact, now more than ever, that I could control my happiness. This meant that I needed to walk out of this marriage .

XX

“Never give up on the person you love…” My father always said, but, how much further was I expected to sink and still stay?

XX

I kept barging into different rooms in the house looking for Angela. I was staggering in the corridors at this point, extremely intoxicated. Timmy had been intentionally handing me more shots earlier while we were all playing drinking games and being the light-weight that I was, I was cruising further from the brink of any ounce of sobriety…

I knew Mark was out with his women and this fueled my yearning for a truce. I wanted to feel the liberation he oh-so owned in our marriage and although I’m not one to seek a vindictive quest, I was tired of the never-ending lies and cheating. I had vowed on my wedding day to stay through thick and thin, he said the words too, but was this it? A man who promised love but gave me hell in portions even the devil couldn’t withstand.

I had committed to this man whole-heartedly, and this came with the compromise of having to settle for emotional spaces I didn’t see myself ending up in. He had a baby momma and a son, two things I’d never compete with because my spot in his heart came after them and I couldn’t compare to that. I knew this but nevertheless, I loved him. Throughout our courting, I had countless opportunities to walk out. I knew what ‘risking it’ all meant but… I loved him! I fucking loved this man.

My life was a trade-off of compromise I tried so much to reach willingly. I was forced to settle for ‘number 3’ each time In his life yet I was HIS WIFE.

I was getting emotionally drained at this point, it had been slightly over a year into this unprecedented commitment in my life and I was paying for being a faithful woman. Was I always going to get hurt for letting my heart only see the good in the people I love?

XX

I barged into one room where two of my friends were already heavily indulging in coitus and I sat on their bed to watch. Wondering if this was how I looked while in action, or if this was what Mark was up to when far from my presence. I couldn’t stop giggling because they didn’t even care and I was heavily scrutinizing every thrust. Porn in 3D my guy.

Timmy comes and pulls me out of that room and tries to give me the ‘ you got sober already’ talk so he can set up his prey with more booze (me) but I’m having none of it. Lol. There’s this thing with me when I’m drunk, I die. My soul legit escapes its vessel and I’m left a shell.
I die! So I try my best to control the level of debauchery I partake in, to be responsible, y’know…

He tries to walk me out of that room because at this point pombe zimenisho nisumbue kila mtu. The rest of the party is in the living room dancing and Timmy finally decides to put me to sleep in James’ room.

Might I add that I was not at my matrimonial home. Mark often left to go to ‘work’ and I stayed home to wait for him . Sometimes he never came, and when he did, it was the same old haggard excuses and lies over what he did or where he went . So, on this night, James called me out to his house to a party he was hosting and I was not going to turn him down. It was my turn.

XX

Timmy opens the door to James’ room and I can see two figures on the bed .I shrug in disappointment because at this point, all the rooms are occupied and it would be impossible for me to go back and join the party. I was scared of what I knew was about to happen, but a part of me knew that I wanted a different man to tear down this wall I had erected. I wanted a man to fuck me so hard and remind me what it felt like to be devoured on mutual enthusiasm. I wanted to be made love to by Mark .I missed him, but I was done emotionally . I was a yard away from asking for those divorce papers.

XX

Everything  escalates rapidly and, James is on top of drunk Angela, a hot make out session is semi-interrupted when we enter but Timmy throws me on the bed anyway.

You see, Timmy and I are just really close friends, actually, all four of us in the room were in the same circle of friends, with Mark as well. But right then, he was looking at me like he was ready to pounce on me. I’d say he had the help of some liquid courage, and he was about to execute what he really felt.

I must have blacked out for a minute because when I opened my eyes, Timmy was on top of me, caressing my firm breasts in his cupped hands, licking me down my tummy while struggling with my zipper. I couldn’t even see his face in the dark, but I remember turning to Angela and trying to eat her out as well.

XX

I was eating pussy the best way I knew how . My tongue on her clit, sucking on her juices like I was feasting on a meal after a long period of hunger. I held her thighs apart and shoved my face in there and the harder she screamed , the more I ate her out . My hands now on her breasts as Timmy and James watch. She was shaking na kusema tu ukweli ukiona gyaldem anatingika kama tingatinga, ujue umechapa job . Masaa ni ya mjuolz!

I was doing it right!

James and Angela are still making out and I see Timmy about to take his clothes off and ram his manhood inside me.  Almost immediately, James pushes me off of Angela’s pussy because it was now his turn. Weren’t we horny!

Angela suddenly stops him and demands that they get condoms. What would I do without this guardian angel of mine?
The boys stopped to get boxes of Durex condoms and I must have blacked out again because it was Angela’s screams of pleasure that brought me back.

I was trying to participate but the intoxication overwhelmed me. James and Angela were still on their foreplay bout, but I could see how James was looking at me. I knew he always wanted me, but, his friendship with my husband hindered him from shooting his shot . Over time, we had nurtured a friendship and I went to him a lot to cry about Mark . Say it with me kids, a shoulder to cry on is a dick…? To ride on!

I had already considered myself a free woman at this point.

I stood up to go to the bathroom and at least wash my face… I left the rest on the bed. I checked my phone and there was a text message from Mark…

“Babe, I’m going to be home a bit late today . I’m with James at the bar for a few drinks . Love you.”

I chuckled.

I chuckled because the same James my husband ‘was with’ had followed me into the bathroom… His beautiful dark skin, his dick dangling…

He grabbed me and started biting my neck, grabbing me while pressing his body against mine at the sink area. This was the passion I was craving. I just wanted to be held and loved. I was getting it! He knelt and ate me out from behind, I wanted to scream! It’s like tiny orgasmic bubbles were exploding in my vagina. I wanted to cry.

He got back up and bent me over the sink, gliding his member over my now extremely wet pussy. He slid in and that’s when I lost it .

You know that first magical thrust when he gets in? A beautiful moment . He picked up the tempo and thrusted harder and each pump reminded me why I needed to leave Mark . This was what I genuinely deserved . This happiness.

James was grabbing my breast, working his hands all over my body, kissing my neck, telling me how badly he wanted me and I believed him .

He came but I wanted more of him and he obliged.

He lifted me onto the sink sasa and I pulled him closer to me with my legs . The kissing was so intense, that I wandered off into another domain subconsciously. He was in charge and I loved it . Kissing me all the way down my neck, and then he put his dick back inside me. All this while, Angela and Timmy were at it on the bed .

Why was I thinking about Mark though? And not even sexual thoughts . I was angry . I was mad at myself for giving him such beautiful years of my life for him to constantly fuck around and constantly pick his baby momma and other women over me . I didn’t want to seem selfish, but I was unhappy.

All these thoughts clouded my mind to the point I didn’t even notice when James came a second time.

When he was done, I got into the shower and tried to fathom what had just transpired . I knew it was taboo, but I loved it so much!

Forbidden fruit.

XX

I got into my car and drove home to my soon to be ex husband . Just like he did to me after his sexcapades every other day .

He was in bed .

He asked me where I was from and proceeded to tell me about how amazing his night with James and the rest of the boys was .

So was mine 😎

I texted my lawyer to work on our divorce papers as I was preparing to get into bed . I knew what I wanted from then henceforth . 😊

Model: Robertta Bobbie

Photography and Editing by: Kibanja

Other images courtesy of Google, subject to copyright.

Read more about Mark here: https://bobbiebom.wordpress.com/2016/01/06/how-i-met-my-boyfriend-1/

Read more about Angela here: https://bobbiebom.wordpress.com/2016/07/30/210/

The article before this one is : https://bobbiebom.wordpress.com/2017/06/26/the-diary-of-a-cheating-wife-2/

C O N N E C T W I T H M E: (click on my name)

Instagram: @roberttabobbie

Snapchat: roberttabobbie

Facebook: Robertta Bobbie

Twitter: roberttabobbie

B U S I N E S S: For business inquiries please contact [email protected]

*Some affiliate links are used, which means I may receive a commission should you decide to click that link and make a purchase. My content is 100% not influenced by brands, PR products received, usage of affiliate links, or brand partnerships.

He was like a rogue beast behind the bars of a cage that caused his yearning for me to escalate each time he was without me. I could tell from the piercing look in his eyes that he wanted to scorch me with passion by holding me in his arms, he wanted to remind me of what we were missing from being apart and I knew what he felt once I stepped into the room.

His dark skin on mine would be a splendid ending to this rendezvous, even better, his rugged beard rubbing in between my thighs as he uses the same thighs as earmuffs, but I had to be protective of my heart as much as my genitals. I know too well how these things end.

xxx

I checked my phone and it was 4:00 am, none of us had even realized it when the clock struck midnight because we were so much indulgent of the music and alcohol, the kind of debauchery I definitely needed to partake in. By then, my body had already started shutting down and Bob commissioned everyone to find a place to sleep. I threw myself on the sofa, not a care in the world and soon after, I blacked out. I was definitely exhausted from the dancing to Diamond all night, I didn’t realize it when my consciousness clocked out.

If you’ve been here long enough, you know how I like my men. IN-FUCKING-CHARGE. I adore a man who knows what he wants and goes for it, sexual matters aside, this legit is something I pray for in the man I decide to pursue eternity with.

For a minute there, it felt like I was dreaming when he tore off my sweats from my body like he was so darn tired of waiting and at the back of my drunken stupor laden mind , I wanted to scream with exhilaration. No warning, I think he knew that I wanted this just as bad.

I could feel my clitoris dancing and my eyes twitching from immense elation but I was so damn drunk, all I could do was allow myself to wallow in these feelings and I guess this was the unspoken cue from me, to proceed. He lifted my groin onto his eye level, (I think he was on his knees), unajua vile waluhya huinua plate wakikunywa supu? Baas. That’s how he was feasting on me, mithili ya groceries zile za Jhene Aiko, and I knew I was going to burst in his mouth. My heart was racing and the goosebumps on my skin were in a bid to compete with the mighty Everest. So were my nipples… My breasts were cupped in his huge palms, he caressed my whole body the way I wanted him to. He had a sweet vengeance to the way he was handling me, It was almost as if he was pledging allegiance to me as his true religion, I loved it.

He swirled his tongue around my clit, taking his sweet time to play with it while holding me hostage in his arms. I could feel myself twitch and grab him, almost trying to push him away because I couldn’t handle the pleasure…

xxx

He finally took his pants off and I knew what time it was.

69 babeyyyyy! But aki ya mungu ata macho zilikataa kufunguka and I was outchea playing peek-a-boo with my hands trying to find anything I could lay my warm tongue on. I knew I had hit the jackpot when I heard him let out low sensual moans as I put his dick in my mouth and subsequently, he went ham with his mouth on my tender loins. Mimi hapo deep-throating nini nini. I was slowly playing with the head using my tongue as I was rubbing his shaft with my hand making it all as aloppy as I could and swallowing everything.

I can’t really tell how long this went on for because, girls, is it just me or do y’all get confused too during 69? Like, a nigga eating you out sooo good hadi hujui ka ulie, ukojoe ama uamke uende ju umeshikilia tu mjuols but you can’t function… Io ndio multi-tasking mi huona inaneed divine intervention. Girls, email me how you make it work cuz ijuhhskenttttt!

Finally, I see him pull out a condom and I get relieved because Jesus knows I was ready for him. I was soaking the couch wet and if this didn’t happen any sooner, we were going to drown in my lady juices . I was going to start crying for that D. Crocodile tears for that D, go on my knees and beg please for that D.

Cheesy? No? OK I’ll stop.

He gets on top of me and, ata sijui niseme nini ju mtaona nawadanganya. This man… This man wants me to fall in love. It’s like whatever forces that reign over feelings have decided they want me to fall all over again. Too soon cupid. Too soon.

I ask him to confirm that he’s got a condom on. This dark chocolate god was about to devour me as one would a rare meal after a long bout of famine and I was living for every moment. I wanted his skin to touch mine, his masculinity to engulf my fears of being touched by a man, also, I wanted to cum.

I was about to describe the first thrust but, I wish I were a vlogger, I wish I could show you people these things ndio muelewe cuz honestly sometimes I feel like my descriptions don’t do my explanations justice. Oh wait, that would be porn, 😂😂.

My eyes rolled back and I clung onto his body, holding him so tight so he wouldn’t stop pounding the life out of me. Alafu tukaduu ile stuff ya fingers ku- intertwine. Lol, nikajua hapa sasa it’s time to sober up and take charge as well.

This was God blessing me. I don’t care what anyone says but I deserved this Dick. I deserved all this pleasure. It’s my karma. Hallelujah? I must have been screaming at this point because he kept asking in his naughty sex voice if I wanted to scream louder and he knew damn right I could not conceal the pleasure I was experiencing.

He encouraged me to scream all I wanted and at this point, I was sure this was a plan being orchestrated by the Heavens, I mean, why was he so perfect? I’m sure the neighbours thought an exorcism was on course.

Hakuna kitu nachukia ka ku-moan in sign language. The riskier the sex, the more fayaaah. Imagine watu wangekuja downstairs wakidhani ni wagondi wanatumada? Straight outta pornhub ma nigga.

So I need a water break ju eh, mechi truu si mchezo. Also, nina swali, msinicheke, mtu akiskia kususu, io ndio kukua karibu kusquirt ama? Ebu nisho kwa comments. (Asking for a friend)

I get back and daddy is lying on his back, I know right away it’s time for mama to ride his dick like I was stealing it, at a rodeo show, from another cowgirl. I jumped on him like I was diving pussy first, aki pombe hhah!

I think what I like most about him is his sensuality. Nigga was holding me like I was a limited edition piece of Jordans he just copped and he was a white boy walking through a black neighbourhood, looking at me the way I look at chicken and a cold Fanta Orange, and that made me feel special. I was up there bouncing on that D , I could’a sworn I heard him speaking in tongues. This was so damn good, but wait. This isn’t even the best part.

So it’s doggy time and at this point pombe zimenisho ni kipindi cha lala salama. I couldn’t even back it up or arch right and he was understanding. How sweet? Hhahahha He turned me over like it was something off of a Matrix movie and grabbed on to my thighs as he slipped his member deep into my insides. I wanted to scream! He kept thrusting and I kept holding on to the cushions, biting them to prevent myself from making any more noises.

Kusema tu ukweli the next thing I remember ni mjamaa akitetemeka ka tingtinga, I wore a huge smile knowing I had blessed this good man. The next time I came to, it was about 10 am of 1st January 2018. I had no eyebrows on, but it was worth it…

Model: Brian Mukano

Photography by: Paul Tapawa

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Niko na swali , nani hapa ame surroundiwa na GSU na ma bodyguard ka chunguchungu??!!

Exactly!! Hakuna , so mbona tuwe ma puppets wa hawa ma so called rulers ati ukipewa punch na instructions za kudistract  peace ya mwenzako unafanya na so much excitement?

Remember none but ourselves can free our minds from mental slavery 

This year let’s fight for Change 

No more crying 

No more blood shed 

For 

We’re one nation 

One people 

Tusikubali kuwa divided ila pamoja 

Tushikane 

Love kati yetu i multiple 

Intermarriages zitambae 

Mimi najua 

 Nobody is perfect ata the wisemen 

Walipotea njia 

So

wacha 2007 ibaki tu into the Past 

Juu

*Kenya* bila 

Sisi si nchi 

Pamoja

Wacha tuzibe hii ufa ya ukabila 

Lets have a healthy election juu 

*charity* begins at home 

Hakuanza na *Ngilu*

 *Kawangware’s finest Poet*

   *Mbugua*
Piece by Alvin Mbugua 

Peace not pieces photography by @Lightartphotography_

He was giving me all the attention I was craving. He was at my beck and call. His name is James, one of my husband’s best friends and my best friend…

My man was teaching me how to live without him and I was learning. I was so tired of begging for his time and affection. It had become a constant issue in our relationship! All I wanted was a man who listened. A man who put me first and chose me! A man who made me his queen! 

I was craving a real man’s love. My relationship had become stale and we were struggling to stay. I was scared of giving myself to another man all over again. He had an almost synonymous fear… I felt like his excuse for staying was that we would hurt our families, but we both knew that the love was dying and it scared us.

I knew my man’s attention was shifting and probably on another girl already. It wasn’t the first time I was going to cheat as well. It’s like our infidelity was an unspoken agreement, we were aware but we allowed it. 

                                ~xx~
James came to pick me up in Langata where I was at a friend’s house. I knew what I was getting myself into but he was everything I needed. I called my man and told him I was still with the girls till late, you know, formalities. 

I got into his car with my friend, James was to drop us in the CBD. Midway towards our destination, I could see he got fidgety, like he wanted to say something but I could read his mind. It was almost as if we had a telepathic connection going on.  After our first sexual encounter, I had asked him to politely forget about what had happened. It was risky for us to proceed no matter how much we enjoyed it. 

There was so much sexual tension the whole drive and I couldn’t take it anymore. One wink was all it took to show him that we were on the same page and our course changed. We dropped my friend in town and proceeded to his office where we were sure not to get caught. 

We were silent the whole time, afraid to admit our guilt because his girlfriend was my friend as well. He would complain to me on numerous occasions how he felt like her sex was wanting. It was not enough for him and mine gave him everything he needed. I asked him to explain to her what he really wanted and how he wanted it done since he swore she was the love of his life but I guess I had something she didn’t and it was what he wanted. 

Amidst the soliloquy in my mind, I felt his hand on my thigh. We were stuck on traffic and he couldn’t wait anymore. He raised my skirt and gently began to rub my clit after pushing my panties aside. My seat was down so this made it easier. He began fingering me and this was where I lost it. I ceased to care about the repercussions, here was a man who adores the very ground I set foot on yet my own man had all the time in the world for everything else except me! That in itself was an ultimate turn on. 

This was what I needed! James should have been my man in another life, the only problem was that our attraction was strictly sexual…

He went on and on, occasionally switching to caress my breasts which by now were on display to his liking. I was moaning so loudly, he raised the music’s volume so it would drown my noises. I was ready for him. 

“Babe, why don’t you give me road head?” He asked, his eyes blood-shot, his dick hard! 

We were interrupted by my man’s call, he was calling James to ask where they would party that night. 

You see the kind of man I was dealing with? He had no idea where I was but his friends were always more important. James told him he was unavailable because he had other engagements. I was the engagement. 

All this while, I was going down on him, hindering him from having a straight conversation on call and I liked that he was struggling… I was gurgling on his dick, making it as sloppy as I could. I was about to ride him like it was revenge for all my tears throughout my failing relationship.

A few minutes later we pulled up at the parking lot and tidied our dressing. He jumped out of his car to open my door and help me out whereafter we rushed to his office and he locked the door behind us. I must admit that I was nervous, but I was horny and my life had been reduced to begging a man who was busy flirting with highschool girls on Instagram to notice me. How did we get here?

I almost sob at his ungratefulness but James holds me and promises to make it all better, he kisses me. My clothes were off in a second and his shaft was already pressing against my back when he bent me over his office desk. The first thrust was so good, I cried out in appreciation. His pumping became stacattoed and I could have sworn that this was a sign from the gods, I was living a miserable life tied down to a man I showed faithfulness all along!

James was caressing me, holding my body close to his, breathing down my neck with the occasional kissing. It was as if he was attempting to feign a slight romance and my emotions were completely in tandem with his. I could feel everything in that moment, all my senses were heightened. It was like the first time, only that this time I wasn’t drunk. He knew just how to handle my body. He knew how to deal with a broken-hearted girl…

He carried me onto the couch where we switched and I got on top of him, he was holding me as if delicate, showering my chest with kisses. There was the occasional grabbing of my butt as he said all sorts of things in my ear. He even called me his lover’s name but that was okay, at least he thought about her…

That disrupted me and I kept thinking about my husband. When cheating, did he think about me as well? Was it as good? Did he still care?

James noticed that I was wandering off and like the gentleman he was, he sought to settle my distress. This man was on a quest to make me forget my pain and I silently applauded his effort. 

He got on top of me and I remember holding him so tight to me like I didn’t want this to end. I didn’t want to go back home to my life. I wanted to be here, with him inside me forever. 

He was thrusting so hard and fast, I almost came when he pulled out to eat me out…

“Not yet baby, I want us to cum together. I want to fuck you like your man never could…”

I was about to fall in love with James. 

He ate my pussy like it was a cuisine. I kept crying out and he would use his hands to muffle my mouth. The guards were patrolling the premises and he was scared they would tell his girlfriend of our sexcapades but I didn’t care.

It was as if he was making love to me and I enjoyed every bit of it. It had been so long since I got this kind of attention from a man and I wanted to bask in it. He was very gentle and caring. James genuinely cared about me. 

                               ~xx~

He was helping me dress up when my husband called me to say he was going out to meet James for a few drinks. I accepted knowing well I was with James and no such agreement had been made… 

James drove me home and promised to always be there for me.

I kissed him bye and alighted his car. 

Pic by @keter_sammy

Models: kun Mungai and Robertta Bobbie

Other pics courtesy of Google.

​

We were watching TV on the couch. I was lying on him, just thinking…

How did we get here? Not in a surreal way, but like, ‘oh my, it’s happening!’ kind of way.

He was so engrossed in the show, but I kept stealing glances, wondering if he thought exactly what I was thinking. This was a fence we were perching on, you know, like when you’re at loggerheads with your brain and genitals. He is perfect. Such a beautiful man. He makes my clit throb. I want to talk about my heart but that is not why we are here…

He tells me I’m beautiful a lot as well. I’ve never told him what I think about him because… I don’t know. He’ll read it here.

“Can I touch your boobs?”

Haha, I couldn’t remember the last time someone asked me such a thing. His fingers got into a slight dalliance with my nipples and the stimulation was almost instant. I was trying to act unphased but his presence was doing things to me…

I couldn’t take it anymore so I got on top of him, my crotch on his, and leaned in for a kiss.
We had spent half of the evening telling stories, laughing off personal experiences of just about everything, just chilling. 

There’s this rare intelligence he possesses that my sapiosexual tendencies had been craving for a long time. Someone who can hold a series of conversations, all the while making me laugh is someone I’d love to keep in my life.

We started making out and all this time I was thinking, are you ready for this? Are you ready for a new cycle of games? The monotony of redundancy and pain? The usual ‘make me happy then disappear’ kind of relations… Don’t get me wrong, I know by now how to separate emotions from everything else, but was I ready?

I was scared. I knew how this would end but I was so weak. I could feel every last muscle in my body succumb to his sexual advances. The way he was handling me! His hands were grabbing my butt when he decided to pull down my pants and go in for my lady parts.

Wet. 💧

I think it surprised him, how wet I was. He exclaimed, but I was too hypnotized by the dry humping to hear what he said.

By this time I had my nails deep in his neck. I don’t know why I do this, I guess it’s the assumed association of pain and pleasure… He asked me to ease up on that. I did.

I was in a dilemma whereby, I needed to choose between keeping a friend and/or satisfying my sexual urges. If you know me, then you know how much I love sex, so this was hard! The legitimate choice would be to halt it all and maintain our friendship status, but we were already too deep into it. I knew that mixing business with pleasure would get us in trouble, but I didn’t care…

 I asked him to come with me to the room, I held his hand and walked him there, my bed was much more comfortable than the couch. 

I jumped on to the bed, and he, with me. Our make out session re-ensued and my hands were already struggling with his belt buckle. He took off his clothes, I took off my shirt and slowly went down on him. He was so hard, I loved it. I shoved his member in my mouth and began sucking on it caressing it with my tongue up until he reached for my hands to hold them. I can’t say how long I was down there, but I sure didn’t want to stop. I could see that he was overwhelmed with pleasure… He couldn’t take it anymore, he was ready for me!

“Take off your tights and sit on this dick!” He ordered me. I love myself a man who is dominant. A man who tells me what to do… He said this in his acting voice, the way he commanded his on-screen wife, it turned me on. For a moment there, I fancied some role play action. There’s something about aggression that drives me haywire!

I did just that. The first thrust was heavenly. I picked up a tempo I was comfortable with and went with that. I could tell he was enjoying it by the way he was holding me, and the occasional pumping from him, he liked it faster, slapping my butt cheeks like he was flogging a horse. Marry me already.

We switched and he got on top then again to doggy. I reminded him that he couldn’t cum inside me. He nodded in agreement, looking at me straight into my eyes like I was giving him blessed vagina. Holy grail.

This is where I lost all my composure because he was giving it to me like we deserved this. I was heaving, the bed was squeaking, he was breathing heavy, his eyes were bloodshot, it was a home run when we finally gave out, him on my back, me on his dick. 

This was beautiful😍

I hadn’t done much but was feeling extremely fatigued, he cleaned me up, and asked me to get under the covers with him so we could cuddle.

I was lying on his chest, listening to him snore while I played with his balls, asking myself if this was worth it still. I could feel his heartbeat go in tandem with mine, then I reminded myself that I was nothing but pussy, and that he would leave the next day, and we were required to remain friends ONLY.

It might not have been worth it, but it was better than what I was having before him. I tried to console myself that my then boyfriend was also somewhere on top of someone else, lying that he was single. It’s okay… I was leaving him anyway. 

It seemed like a good decision in the heat of the moment.
                               ~xx~

I woke up to him kissing my back and playing with my clit in an attempt to make me wet again. He then slid his dick inside me and the same feeling engulfed me. Immense pleasure, this was what I needed in my life. He gets me. The morning glory was so good. I fell asleep again.

It was at about 11am when I rolled over to face him on his side of the bed. 

“Good morning?”

Indeed, I thought, what a fucking wonderful morning! That beautiful smile on his face was something I’d definitely want to wake up to often… This was followed by more rounds of hand-holding sex. You know, the type that’s so good, so intense, you can’t even believe it…we occasionally stopped to talk and I just felt so happy. I can’t explain it.

What was happening 😢

 This was not supposed to happen. I kept reminding myself how this was going to end. 

I didn’t care though. I was living in the moment. I was enjoying it while it lasted. 

                                ~xx~

He hasn’t called me since then. I’ve called him a couple of times to check up on him, but that’s it. I see him on TV though. 

Maybe that’s where he belongs, not with me, just in my screen.

I don’t want to think that that’s all I was good for to him. I mean. We were friends before the sex, right? 

Maybe I sucked? Maybe I’m not pretty enough? 

But he calls me beautiful 😢… He says my smile is nothing short of perfect.

Nope. I don’t think he’d lie to me. Or would he? I’m not sure.

I’m not hurt or angry. I’m not even asking him to be my lover, maybe that’s what he’s scared of?

That’s what everyone is scared of. Me included. I’m scared of being made a fool out of, being taken on a ride.

I’m just aloof. I’m confused. 

I’m not in love. Or am I?… No, I can’t be. I shouldn’t be. He told me not to far fall for him because he was messed up, he said the solution to developing feelings was an instant withdrawal. 

I’m just dazed still. 

If you see him, ask him why he won’t talk to me anymore. I don’t understand. 

Tell him I still care about ‘us’. I miss him. I think about him all the time. His kisses on my tummy… The way our fingers interlock when we’re orgasming together. 

I miss the way he says things under his breath. His smile. I want to be in his embrace. I want him to fuck me till I cry!

Tell him… No, don’t tell him.

I’ll tell him myself…

Model: @roberttabobbie

Photos by: @ketersammy, Google

This post is sponsored by @nacckenya @nascop_kenya @ahfkenya @69condoms @pathfinderinternational

“At times I regret that I ever met you, Wish I were to pass and let another intercept you. The liquor’s encouraging me to text you, But see the pride is why I stall like a restroom. Experience what I did? I wonder who’s the next to detention. Thicker than this bitch I’m laying next to, Not like that’s something no one knew, Responding to come over texts when I ain’t even over you, just know I’d never put another woman over you, in fact I think I put a pride aside convo is overdue. Cause  all we ever do is fucking trip. Make love then argue, yeah fuck and trip. All this unnecessary stress I need a fucking trip, But know that making you happy still on my bucket list. Visions of our past but unsure what the future holds, i’m sure by just showing up you assume I fuck future hoes…” Euroz _us vs. them

I heard the cry from where I was seated. The flaccid cry of a newborn. This is my son with Shanice. I was not as zealous as expected. I switched off my iPod and walked towards the cry. 

I checked my watch. It was  11.30 am and I knew Robin was already on her way to her wedding. Her wedding to that man. Kyle.
What had I done?
I’m completely unmoved by the fact that this girl has just borne me a son. An heir. 

Okay, I’ll go carry the kid in a few minutes. Shouldn’t I? Well, it’s only fair that I show my enthusiasm and excitement, no matter how pretentious. I’m not mean. I’m a good man. I just fell off the wagon. It happens.
I know where my heart is.
I ran out to the car and ignited its engine. The revving, reminded me of the first car I bought her. The excitement in her eyes. Why is everything I do so nostalgic…
If she loved me she would have stayed. She would have understood. She would have weaned me off the drugs and reckless promiscuity. She would have understood that I’m an extremely social being, I mean, even when I’m canoodling other women and kissing them, it’s nothing sexual. It’s her I always loved!
Kwani kazi ya mwanamke ni gani? Si ni kubaki and be the family’s pillar!
Women are not supposed to give up on their men! 

I told her to wait until I sorted myself out for her and our child.  It’s her fault that I cheated. She gave up on me, on us. She was tolerating Kyle all along.

 I mean, how was I supposed to compete with a man of such poise and financial structure. She left me for the money. Typical of these women!

I should go back in and hold my son a little longer.
Goddamnit Robin see what you made me do!
Do I go be with Shanice? 
But I don’t love her. It was just sex. She was giving me the attention Robin failed to provide. 
Do I call Stephanie? Naah. She dumped me. It’s okay, she had started being a nag anyway. Besides, she has a boyfriend now… I was getting enough of that from Robin, a repeat would be a redundant catastrophe. Well, maybe I should call her up for an easy lay, get my mind off things…

“Who is she? Where are you going? Why don’t you give me attention? Are your friends more important than I? Why do you constantly have women on your Snapchat? Are your Instagram posts subliminal messages to me?”
😑😑😑😒😒😒😒😒😒😒

 Do I go to the church to halt this absurd commitment about to be laid down by my lover?
I took my phone out and began reading her final texts… Those long texts she sends when angry. Accompanied by voice notes that are nothing short of ten years long. 

  Robin: Hey. Not to seem intrusive, but just know me giving you space doesn’t mean I stopped loving you or I left for someone else or I don’t care. It’s just so that you can sort your issues without me feeling ignored by the man I love, so I’m always here for you ata ka I’m a bother. Niko tu kando, I haven’t left. Just work on your priorities. When you’re ready, we’ll give us another shot and make shit work bila drama na pain. Goodnight 😘

Robin: Everything you said to me in that car hit me tenfold. You killed me. You killed my will to fight for us. You refused to help me stay. You chose them over me. The drugs, the women, friends. You left your baby and I begging for your attention every single day. I cannot cry anymore, I shall have the divorce papers delivered to you and in all niceness, I ask as a favour that you sign them.
I wish you happiness with your new girl and child that is on the way only because your happiness is all that ever mattered to me. Let me go. 

How was I supposed to reply to this? So I ignored it. Just like I had been ignoring all her other texts and calls. She was a mistress of sarcasm this one. Oh how I miss that…

She wanted to leave so I told her to leave. I told her to delete my number if she saw fit. I don’t know how to beg. I’m not the kind of man that fights over a woman. Plus akili yangu ilikua imechoka kushindia the same issue daily. Why don’t women understand? Nagging kila siku! 
 This was right before I received the divorce papers. She lied. She left. She should have been patient and held on longer. Her decision was lopsided. She didn’t consider  my feelings and now she’s marrying that bastard.

I’m going to drive to the church. I want to look her straight in the eyes as she says ‘I do’ to another man. A man that is not me. I want to see if she’ll flinch with the slightest regret. 

I parked at the church’s lot and walked out of my car. Keys and phone in hand. 

Anxiety clouded me. The closer I got to the entrance, the heavier my heart grew. The harder the steps became. 😢😢
I’m not ready to see my Robin with another man, I thought. It’s not too late to walk away. 
I turned to leave when I saw Angela there, right behind me. Looking at me. She must have spotted me roaming the premises.
Angela is Robin’s best friend. I’m assuming her best maid today as well. She never liked me. Not as a person, but for her friend, romantically. Well, no one did, and that got to her. I knew all along that she had been against our relationship and marriage altogether. Her condescending presence could be felt and so I started to walk past her. She stopped me and moved in as if to hug me.
Maybe this is what I need. A hug. 
“Leave this place. You have hurt her enough. Just leave…’ she whispered in my ear.
Although I was taken aback, Angela was right. What was I doing here?
I detached from her embrace and turned again, heading straight for the entrance amidst her warning not to… and then I saw her. My Robin. Right at the altar in a white gown. Beautiful as ever. Beaming with the radiance I imagined she would. She looked sombre. The mood was definitely melancholic.
Almost subsequently, everything flashed right before my eyes. The first time I saw her. The night I gave her a promise neck piece. Our first kiss. Our first sex in the car. Our wedding. The day she gave birth to my Natalie. Everything…

Right beside her was my estranged friend Kyle. Feeling macho. He had won the race. I guess this was Karma stretching it’s unforgiving claws out to me. No one is ever yours, it’s just your turn.
                                 ~xx~

We ran to my car, I was holding her hand as she struggled with her train. I immediately drove off, we had no destination in mind. This was the kind of people we were. Spontaneous. Daring. We hardly cared about external opinions. 

This was going to cost us, but it was worth the risk. I was taking back what was mine and this time, I was going to keep her forever.

We sat in silence, I’m sure she was as confused as I was, gazing outside her window with dismay tatooed all over her face. Surprisingly,no one was following us. 

I parked the car along the deserted Naivasha highway. No sooner had I opened my mouth to speak than she climbed on top of me. She held my face as if to search for answers. I looked at her dead in the eyes.

You know what I appreciated about this union? The ability to constantly have our blood boiling for each other. I was baying for her body like a predator for a prey. She kissed me. I had been longing for these lips. This darned gown was getting in my way so I tore it together with her stockings.

The making out got so intense and I was ready for her. She was running her fingers through my hair with her long nails, biting my neck, rubbing her crotch against mine. I could see that she was succumbing in her eyes every time she opened them to look at me. 

I lifted her to sit on this magic wand. I warmed up inside. She was so wet. A low hallelujah almost escaped my mouth. I motioned her to ride and she began . All this while, i’m caressing her arms and thighs, spanking her as she increases the tempo. I tell her to slow down.

I tell her to scream if she wants to because no one can hear her. We’re in the middle of nowhere. I can tell she’s trying not to be too noisy. I love her sexual noises, I want more.

I tell her how amazing her pussy is. It’s getting steamy in the car but i don’t want her to stop, when all of a sudden she grips my arms. I know she’s about to cum so I tell her to do it all over the seat. This is her car as well. 

Then she does it. So beautiful. Her body is still shaking, I whisper in her ear that I felt it all. She gets off me and tells me that it’s me she wants to be with. I ask her about Kyle but she assures me she doesn’t love him.

A knock on the window interrupts us. She asks me not to open the door until she’s got her panties on so I wait. I help hook her bra back on then I roll down the window.

                                ~xx~

Only, there’s no window. There’s no car. There’s no naked Robin. It’s just me standing along the aisle.

Gasps escaped alternate individuals and filled the church when they saw me. She turned. I could see her face. Her smile faded. She stared dumbfoundedly. 
I got what I wanted. To see her face. I was satisfied. A sharp pain cascaded down my heart. You have no idea, it was like , have you lost someone before? 
When my daughter Natalie shouted my name’daddy’, it dawned on me that I was letting go of my happiness. This girl! She looked just like me. Beautiful hair like her father’s. Oh my. She looked so magnificent in her little flower girl frock. My little girl. 
No matter how big or bad you are, there’s always that one girl that humbles you. 

It’s okay. I’m going back to the hospital now. I have no option but to let them go. I’ll be okay. It’s not the first time someone left me. It was not going to be the last either. I’ll just pick a new hoe up from the club as is. These girls are easy.
“Daddy! Daddy!” Natalie started to cry.
It was not my intention to disrupt this occasion. 
“Daddy!”
I started to tear up as I turned to walk out. I didn’t think she had the guts to leave me for good, but now, I have confirmed it. I have single-handedly managed to push away the one girl that loved me for who I was. The one girl that continuously looked past my transgressions, forgave my short-comings and defended me amidst all the disrespect and embarrassment I caused her . 

I’m not sad though. I don’t care. Okay, I do, but I’m a thug. I’ll get over it. A blunt or ten with the boys and a night out getting bitches should get me started.

Goodbye Robin. Goodbye my sweet Natalie.

Model: Brian Karuiru
(Continued from ‘How I met my husband’)

Now that I’ve got your attention, don’t pass up the pink ribbon. It’s Cancer Awareness Month!! 😂😂
I want to share a story I haven’t told many people, but I feel like the bobbiebom fans have become family. You guys even check up on me on the regular and that’s so beautiful 😍

I however, do not expect any pity or further questions from this post concerning my health. I’m healthy. I’m okay. I just want to pass the message across that you need to go get checked for Cancer and, be nice to people since you might not have the slightest idea of what they are going through. Today you’ll laugh at a skinny person cuz they look funny, maybe they’re sick. Or throw jabs at fat people because they breathe funny, maybe they’ve been struggling all their life to look ‘normal’. 

When I opened my eyes, the first person I saw was my mother. She smiled and I remembered where I was. My eyes were heavy, I couldn’t move my body and I was overwhelmed with general weakness.

“Call dad. I need to speak to him…”, I told her in a voice that trailed off.

I assured my father that I had come out of the operating room okay and that phonecall relaxed me a bit. 

I was pushed to the recovery room and transferred onto the bed by the nurses. This was going to be a long night, I thought. I had bandages all round my chest so I couldn’t tell the magnitude of the damage. I was numb. No pain, no emotion, nothing. 

                                     ~xx~

Two days before, I was lying on a bean bag while watching TV on the floor when I almost subconsciously started feeling my breasts and detected two lumps on my left side. I had huge boobs so it was a bit difficult to be certain. My mother is a medic, so immediately she got home, I asked her to check me out. I was scared as hell.

Sasa najua kuna mtu mahali amejiuliza mbona nilikua najishika matiti. Sitawajibu lakini ka jokes, the early detection might have just saved my life…

At this point we were both panicking, so she asked a friend who was a nurse and lived right next door to come and confirm as well. It was then that I found out I had breast lumps and for some reason, this to me equated itself to cancer and ultimately a painful death. I couldn’t sleep that night.

My mother packed a night bag for me and after a few phone calls, we were on our way to The Mater hospital. I got booked for surgery and was immediately admitted. I was asked not to eat a whole 24hours before the surgery as it would interfere with the anaesthesia. That was hard because right at the entrance there’s a beautiful vending machine that kept calling me 😂… Lakini you can’t win with me when it comes to food. Bado nilikula tu 😂
I remember being extremely  scared walking towards the theatre. My mother was friends with the doctors so she took me to meet the team that would work on me. There was the option of checking whether the lumps were malignant or benign while they were still inside me to ascertain if the surgery was necessary but my mother wanted them out.

The doctors were having lunch in some room, and one of them offered to walk me around the theatre. Just then, a man was rushed in in a stretcher, half his face missing with a huge blade sticking out. I just felt like this place was full of death, you know? Like, in a few hours, I’d be the one on a stretcher.

Ka ushaifanyiwa surgery maybe unajua io feeling, ukiingia uko ndani it’s like you can smell death. Ah, sijui kuexplain…

 I kept asking if this meant that I would lose my breasts. Would I have to cut my hair? I had heard that chemotherapy was painful… Was I going to be strong enough to go through this?
It was time to prep for the surgery. I was asked to remove all my clothes and was given the operation attire with a head cap, gown and everything. I lay on the stretcher and as I was being wheeled into the Operating room, all I could think about was my funeral. I don’t know why. It’s like you start asking yourself all these crazy questions. Who would attend? Who would cry the most?

Enyewe it was straight up like a scene from ER or Grey’s Anatomy. Nilikua tu naona lights nafeel ka ki-moviestar.

I remember that April 2011 like it was yesterday because it changed my life. I kept asking God why he would let such a thing happen to me. I was so young and cancer seemed so far-fetched. Wasn’t it an ‘old person’ disease?

The doctors were really nice, cracking jokes and trying to be friendly. An oxygen mask was placed on my face and I was asked to count to ten, I don’t remember reaching four…

                                   ~xx~

I woke up at about 8am the next morning when the doctor was doing rounds. He opened my bandages and I’ve never felt so much pain in my life. My nipple was open and my whole side had a huge scar with threads sticking out. The doctor proceeded to dig into my nipple to pull out a drainage tube that I didn’t even know was in there. Ilikua ka zile matiti hukua on ‘Botched’ on E!

I cringe every time I remember because I get the exact feeling. Ni ka mse aingize kidole in your insides aanze kuvuruta vitu.

I was put on more medication and after a shower and breakfast, I went back to my bed.

It felt lonely. No one came to see me because I told my mother not to tell anyone. I dread pitty. 
On the day I was being discharged, I was so happy to see my mother and brother. I couldn’t walk though, I don’t know if it affected my balance, but the pain was surreal.

I was wheeled to the car after my mother was given instructions on how to handle me post-surgery.

I just wanted to know if the tests on the lumps showed if I had cancer or not. No one was telling me anything. They said the test would take two weeks.
About two weeks later was when I cut off all my hair and went back to school. Say like a fresh start.

Those who found out started spreading rumours that I was dying and that I was extremely sickly. They would use the fact that I’d cut my hair off as ‘evidence’. On Facebook, others would message me to say mean things and although it didn’t get to me, maybe it’s got to someone else who is really being segregated for the sole purpose of being different or having an illness the cannot suppress.

I didn’t understand how mean someone could be. I don’t recall ever treating people badly but anyway, I got over it.
I keep telling you guys that I’ve got such a strong support system. I’ve got legit friends and family that sticks by me regardless… Maybe someone else doesn’t have that.

I recovered and my scars are something I’m actually very proud of right now.
Well, I know no disease is pleasant, especially if it’s rendered a death sentence. It takes so much out of you. You cry. The pain is so much and the psychological torture is even worse.

                              ~xx~
Today, I’m sharing my story because I want you to help. Let’s help cancer patients where we can and not just on cancer awareness month, let’s help them whenever!

I’ve been to Kenyatta hospital, Nairobi,  and I’ve seen how much pain they are in. The treatment process is nothing to joke about. 

Want to know an easy way to assist them? 

DONATE TO CANCER AWARENESS FOUNDATIONS.

An example is the Kanini 4 Africa Foundation by Janet Kanini Ikua whereby funds go towards cancer patients’ medication  (In Kenya). You can as easily Google foundations near you and donate towards them. Today it’s me, tomorrow it might be you. I’ve seen how Cancer drains resources, so imagine the unfortunate who sleep on the streets but require medical attention…

I can say I relate because I’ve got an aunt currently undergoing chemotherapy for ovarian cancer. I see her tears. I see how hard it is and it kills me sometimes knowing I cant do much, the best I can offer is emotional support by keeping her happy. She loves smiling, but beyond it all, I know there’s so much pain.

Offer the victims support, do not damn them to condemnation or talk about death.

If you are going through cancer, try and stay positive, just know it gets better and you are loved. You’re going to make it out!

I was watching this last night, thought I should share…

https://youtu.be/u9s_P02XtcY

Spread the word people !!! 

Go get checked as often as you can. Spread love and awareness.

Cancer isn’t the end. It gets better, I promise. 😇😊😊

Before you read on, understand that my posts contain a lot of sarcasm and profanity, that’s if you’re new here and don’t know that. Kama wewe ni mzee na utajam or hate bad manners kindly stop reading at this point. 

Don’t bother sending my dad screenshots 😕😑😑😑😒😒. He’s a fan 😇 and just recently subscribed 🙌!
In 2016 you need disclaimers so that people don’t get butt hurt over jokes and brutal honesty.

Otherwise, on a lighter note, let’s commence on today’s topic of interest.

Dickmatization. 

As usual, I’ll speak from my point of view of things. Don’t castigate me for opinions I solely claim, but as usual, feel free to drop your suggestions, criticism and opinions, I appreciate those regardless ❤.

Did you know that women love sex just as much (or more) as men? You probably forget that, so I’ll remind you.

These girls are scared to speak out cuz when you love dick you’re dubbed a whore. We can’t battle the double standards battalion so we just shut up. Well then I’m the mother of whores if being upfront about sex is ‘whorish’. (I really hope my mum stopped reading my shit) 😭😭😭. 

Hi mum 😇👋

I honestly don’t care that much about what anyone thinks of me on a sexual basis and even if I do, I’ll still say what I want and how I want it. Boring sex is a waste of time. I can’t waste my perfect ‘boob years ‘ on shitty coitus 😂😂😂. No one should.

I’ll talk about slut shaming on another day. Leo, I want to educate some people on what it means by someone being dickmatized. Ndio muwache kudhani we’re in love with you when it’s your dick we’re talking to 😂.

When I call you, if we’re just fucking, patia dick simu. Wacha kiherehere.

 It just so happens we might fall for your dick and not you as a person. Nothing makes me angrier than a nigga thinking that highly of himself over me. Come back down to earth brother. Tega sikio…

I love how people already feel like they have a perception of what I’m like in bed from reading my blogs. Shows how hell-bent the society is on pre-empting situations at face value. Well that’s okay 😉. Bora mtu niko naye asije akasema I did splits in the air for Mark* and so he wants that too…

Anyway.
Girrrrrllssss, come here. Have you ever had dick sooooo good, you cried?🍆💗💋👅👅❤❤🔥🔥💦💦💦

 Yeah. Like you’re at work getting flashbacks and shit about slurping on those balls. Yani, you remember bouncing on that stick and your vajayjay gets moist. 

Now I already need a change of draws 💦💦 😭😭

Bear with my digression, it tends to get the better part of me a lot, subconsciously . Kama vile juzi I started telling my mum story ya vile she should come to vineyard one time cuz it’s lit. I ended up telling her about how I was frustrated ju plug aliniuzia oregano ju ni ka I was on kales, that Kush was shit. No high feeling whatsoever. Najua ningelazwa station ju my mthas is the kind of woman to snitch, but oh well…
In my opinion, dickmatization is when a girl is fond of a particular dick, love is not needed (I can’t stress on this enough). I can want you sexually without caring about how your day was, okay? Welcome to 2016.

Yah. Us girls have mastered this art. I was about to use the word addicted but that’s relative and, really, there’s always a better dick than the one you’re currently sitting on. Yup. Always. 

So as a jamaa, you give this mama A1 msolombo (niko group flani WhatsApp, that’s where I’m learning all this new sheng’, -> shout out to Connect Campus btw).

Let me start again. You meet this mami, you shag. Well, not just the basic ‘my nut matters ‘ kind of shag. You eat her out from hair follicles to the dead skin on her heels. Yaani, unamkula kijeshi. You do all those hair-pulling, back-scratching, lip-biting things. You basically make love to her soul. You expect io story inaisha hapo?

For more jokes, send an SMS, ‘jokes about dick’ to ‘5764’

Well. Guess again. 

Let me give you the tell tale signs of a dickmatised girl. As best as I know. I can’t speak for lightskins, ao wako ligi yao. Ata wakidedia mse I think speaking out is a NO in their ‘how to like totally maintain litty lightskin vibes bruh’ manual. I kid 😂

1. She’ll hit you up after sex. Mse unajua skuizi form ni kutokua na feelings so after mechi mnanyamaziana ju hamdai feelings. Well, just be sure that if she doesn’t hit you up first with shit like ‘I had fun’ bruh, ulilalia kazi.
2. She’ll blow up your phone up with upuzi za love, if not, to ask about next time. At this point, she might or might not have already started seeing you in her future (not necessarily as a boyfriend) so she’ll take the next step, which is to try and secure the bag. SECURE THE BAG ALERT! If you no get no text, you no fuck good.
3. Kusema ukweli nimesahau izo zingine. But pia in the middle of this, nimefeel ni ka I’m betraying girls by telling you guys these things. So instead, I’ll let you know how to tell if your sex game is trash.

… Don’t get mad boys. I know there’s shitty pusss too. But nothing makes me happier than seeing the people around me getting fucked right. I hope for a better world where everyone shall get what they deserve in bed. Or, in my case, and everyone else who is like me, everywhere 😉.

1. You will not be looked for. She’s so bored, she’d rather return to her wanking streak. You’re lucky if you’re not blocked, but be sure her friends already know how pathetic you are 😂😂😂😂. People are savage. Guys do this too after they get what they want. Usijali, ni life. Utakula tu blueticks hadi ubuild fort nazo. You should thank God girls are nice though, cuz even when the sex is shit, she’ll try to boost your ego by moaning like a dying whale.
2. That’s it. Hakuna point ingine. Mtu anakutaka atakupursue. If not labda anahepa feelings, they don’t give a flying shit about you and your friendship or ulishaserve purpose ya making them cum. Your work is done. Clap for yourself. Pia unaeza ongeleshwa but story za sex hazidai. Now you know. This made me sad a bit 😢

NB : kuna watu huwa loud sana btw. Beware of these people who stay announcing their prowess. Kwanza wale wana mini sausage na mitaro ndio huinsist. They can’t get you hooked on their shit. No dickmatisation whatsoever.

Research shows that your incentive to tell people about your prowess when it comes to handling your genitalia is indirectly proportional to your actual prowess. 

You can’t argue with research.

This was done by professor Hafsa Neil Armstrong, aka trap_mermaid on Instagram, in 1993, right after sipping lean.

Ushaikua na mtu na anajisifu mid-sex ati, ‘Ooh baby my dick is amazing, it goes deep…. Blah blah blah’?  😒

Me too. 😂

I can’t use a girl’s example cuz for you guys puss is puss, bora you get your nut.

So ii fala inajisifu, unaanza kushangaa, eh, form ni gani.So full of themselves na labda unafake moans na orgasms ndio ajibambe. 

Chema cha jiuza, kibaya chajitembeza. Sijui io methali poa. Hopefully it goes that way. If you’re good,you don’t need to speak about it 😉.

Remember that empty debes make the loudest noise. Ati sijui ooh. I can rearrange your guts. Nah bruh. Only thing your loud mouth needs to rearrange is those crooked Down-Syndromed teeth that might scissor down my clitoris amidst cunnilingus.

Humble yourself and maybe you’ll get a lass dickmatized.

No offence to people with down syndrome. 
I know sometimes I bruise some egos. I’m unapologetic about that though. God, I hate feeding people’s egos. But if I’ve lowered your self esteem then pole. If it helps,my teeth aren’t perfect either 😂😂😂😭😭😭

I stopped telling guys they’re good ju ya maringo. Wacha aende home na question marks 😂😂. I once complimented some jamaa cuz I felt he was looking good, na that was the last nice thing I will ever say to him 😇. See what we are turning each other into.

When a girl is dickmatised, you’ll know. Her happiness is consistent. She’ll generally feel so good about herself. It’s even better when the D is consistent and frequently available 😍😍😍😍

This dick controls her life and decisions.  Ukimsho akubuyie gari, anaeza ata rob bank. Power to the men. 

If not, utajua pia. Subliminal messages on her Instagram and Snapchat ovyo ovyo ati oooh, niggas ain’t shit. 😂😂. 

Ama kule twirra she starts saying how ako dryspell na saizo umemnyandua a whole week.

Awa ndio huskiza Lemonade daily.🐝🍋

Uyo ndio unajua alidinywa vibaya na akapewa shs. 100, hajui ka ni ya p2 au nduthi.

These guys on Campus Connect were saying ati, dame anadirectiwa hadi kwa keja, after 5mins mnaona akitoka. Ata hakui escorted to the stage . Na hatawai pigiwa simu tena. It’s a wrap.😂😂😂😂. I love my generation 😂😂😂

Uyo sa mnadhani anafeel aje, saizo labda ametravel from Rongai. Ata hawezi kua dickmatised even if those 5 mins zilimjazz. 😂😂

These views are not the gospel truth. Especially with girls as straight forward as me. I’m the type to be like, “Oya, unanige or nah?” Na ukinilenga nasonga. I might want you but my money is more important. I’d rather chase that. I can’t chase pombe, money and then men. Aih. Mambo ya kufanyishana P.E iliisha na reign ya Moi. 

With all said and done, I think I need to remind you people to use condoms throughout your endeavours. Of course there’s exceptions on the basis of trust levels. Don’t trust these hoes. 

It’s not worth it, kumea spirogyra na finger like projections that are green on your ass at the expense of a nut. Shingles are real. 😂
Najua hampendi nikiongea sense, but , HIV ni real na hakuna haja utuache ju ya kitu ilikubamba 3mins. 
Be honest as well. Wacha kufanya mtu aingie box then unamchorea. By box, I keep insisting, i’m not only talking about love, even just sexual arrangements. Don’t waste people’s time! It’s so frustrating 😢. Ii ntawapigia story kwa blog ingine ju mnapenda sex oriented articles af!

How do you get someone dickmatised then you stop talking to them na the arrangement is that y’all are exclusive on a sexual basis😕. You’re the ones who make us crazy. 

Anyway, I think I’ve touched on about 6million issues in this. 
But now you know why Njeri isn’t looking for you after sex.
Gaddamn, now I’m worried 😂😂

Photography by Keter Sammy

Model: Robertta Bobbie