This was supposed to be an article about myself for a magazine I’m going to feature in, but since I get to write it, I decided to give you lot something to think about; your relationship with yourself as I talk about where I’m currently at with mine…

I grew up in a fairly liberal home where the communication sufficed and it was made clear from the beginning that there was only room for success. I’ve never had a distinct conviction about where I want to end up; I just knew that I had to work for a win. I immersed myself in anything that helped me learn more because I loved reading a lot  and I’d build ideas in my head of how I wanted my life to be and the universe always listened. Looking back at it all now, I can see for myself how everything I’ve been through was essential and necessary for my growth.

Everything started to fall into place when I realized that I shut myself out of the real world so much so, I became unable to communicate my feelings verbally. Actually, to date, I feel like when I speak, I hardly ever manage to pass my point across… I wanted to say so much but felt misunderstood each time, so I gave in to the constant urging from those that had read a few songs and poems I’d written before and started my first blog.

Initially, I wanted it to be like my journal. I’d document a lot of my thoughts and experiences and with time, I garnered a lot of attention from those that felt a connection to me. It’s beautiful to see people relate to your work and rejoice your wins with you… It still gets me every time! I feel less alone in my fantasy world now. I get to bring like-minded souls along with me on my journey with the hopes that we can all grow and be better together or at least, they can learn from my mistakes or understand that a lot of us go through similar things.

I won’t lie; I’ve wanted to throw in the towel more times than anyone could ever imagine, but, the constant reminder that I’m not alone is what keeps me going, so it’s only fair that I reciprocate the beauty that the universe has shown me by sharing the secret to doing and getting better.

I’ve lost work that took me months of research but I still had to redo it because the world doesn’t care about your inability to show up and show out. I’ve gone through depression, heartbreak, anxiety, bankruptcy and loss… It all hit me at once and for the longest time I wondered where everyone was. I was alone. The only thing that stayed constant was my blog; it was my escape from reality. I got to be whoever I wanted and to do whatever I liked. I got to choose the characters in my world myself and I vowed to protect this little haven of mine so I decided to rebuild it. I decided to make more conscious decisions about the people I allowed in my world and everything started changing for me. I met people who believed in my dreams even more than I did and they pushed me every day to want to be the very best version of myself. Those that work hard get filtered out and rewarded, the game is the game.

The fact that I was amassing a tribe that yearned for every piece I dropped was even more glorious. It definitely pushed me to hold on and want more for myself while ignoring all the noise around me.

The secret is simple. LOVE YOURSELF. Invest in your well-being. Trust your intuition and stay in your lane. A friend of mine always tells me, “You can’t pour from an empty cup”, I had to work on myself too!

When you love yourself, you attract good things. You gain more confidence and you definitely treat yourself better too. You become more deserving of success, start to look and do better etc. All your dreams start to take shape.  Only YOU can make your heart’s desires become fulfilled.

Looking back now, I’m definitely proud of how far I’ve come as well as the milestones I’ve achieved. If someone told me 3 years ago that I’d have the privilege of even being in the same room as the people I’ve looked up to almost all my life, I’d call their bluff. All this because I decided to start. I made the deliberate decision to begin a journey that had no clear destination and it’s been the best ride of my life.

Of course, I’m still not where I want to be at, but I can see myself there soon. If I could turn my journal into a world for so many, then anyone can do anything. Believe in your sauce and work on yourself.

BOSS TF UP!

Images by @alvinmwangii

Model @dennise__w

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