Now that I’ve got your attention, don’t pass up the pink ribbon. It’s Cancer Awareness Month!! 😂😂
I want to share a story I haven’t told many people, but I feel like the bobbiebom fans have become family. You guys even check up on me on the regular and that’s so beautiful 😍

I however, do not expect any pity or further questions from this post concerning my health. I’m healthy. I’m okay. I just want to pass the message across that you need to go get checked for Cancer and, be nice to people since you might not have the slightest idea of what they are going through. Today you’ll laugh at a skinny person cuz they look funny, maybe they’re sick. Or throw jabs at fat people because they breathe funny, maybe they’ve been struggling all their life to look ‘normal’. 

When I opened my eyes, the first person I saw was my mother. She smiled and I remembered where I was. My eyes were heavy, I couldn’t move my body and I was overwhelmed with general weakness.

“Call dad. I need to speak to him…”, I told her in a voice that trailed off.

I assured my father that I had come out of the operating room okay and that phonecall relaxed me a bit. 

I was pushed to the recovery room and transferred onto the bed by the nurses. This was going to be a long night, I thought. I had bandages all round my chest so I couldn’t tell the magnitude of the damage. I was numb. No pain, no emotion, nothing. 

                                     ~xx~

Two days before, I was lying on a bean bag while watching TV on the floor when I almost subconsciously started feeling my breasts and detected two lumps on my left side. I had huge boobs so it was a bit difficult to be certain. My mother is a medic, so immediately she got home, I asked her to check me out. I was scared as hell.

Sasa najua kuna mtu mahali amejiuliza mbona nilikua najishika matiti. Sitawajibu lakini ka jokes, the early detection might have just saved my life…

At this point we were both panicking, so she asked a friend who was a nurse and lived right next door to come and confirm as well. It was then that I found out I had breast lumps and for some reason, this to me equated itself to cancer and ultimately a painful death. I couldn’t sleep that night.

My mother packed a night bag for me and after a few phone calls, we were on our way to The Mater hospital. I got booked for surgery and was immediately admitted. I was asked not to eat a whole 24hours before the surgery as it would interfere with the anaesthesia. That was hard because right at the entrance there’s a beautiful vending machine that kept calling me 😂… Lakini you can’t win with me when it comes to food. Bado nilikula tu 😂
I remember being extremely  scared walking towards the theatre. My mother was friends with the doctors so she took me to meet the team that would work on me. There was the option of checking whether the lumps were malignant or benign while they were still inside me to ascertain if the surgery was necessary but my mother wanted them out.

The doctors were having lunch in some room, and one of them offered to walk me around the theatre. Just then, a man was rushed in in a stretcher, half his face missing with a huge blade sticking out. I just felt like this place was full of death, you know? Like, in a few hours, I’d be the one on a stretcher.

Ka ushaifanyiwa surgery maybe unajua io feeling, ukiingia uko ndani it’s like you can smell death. Ah, sijui kuexplain…

 I kept asking if this meant that I would lose my breasts. Would I have to cut my hair? I had heard that chemotherapy was painful… Was I going to be strong enough to go through this?
It was time to prep for the surgery. I was asked to remove all my clothes and was given the operation attire with a head cap, gown and everything. I lay on the stretcher and as I was being wheeled into the Operating room, all I could think about was my funeral. I don’t know why. It’s like you start asking yourself all these crazy questions. Who would attend? Who would cry the most?

Enyewe it was straight up like a scene from ER or Grey’s Anatomy. Nilikua tu naona lights nafeel ka ki-moviestar.

I remember that April 2011 like it was yesterday because it changed my life. I kept asking God why he would let such a thing happen to me. I was so young and cancer seemed so far-fetched. Wasn’t it an ‘old person’ disease?

The doctors were really nice, cracking jokes and trying to be friendly. An oxygen mask was placed on my face and I was asked to count to ten, I don’t remember reaching four…

                                   ~xx~

I woke up at about 8am the next morning when the doctor was doing rounds. He opened my bandages and I’ve never felt so much pain in my life. My nipple was open and my whole side had a huge scar with threads sticking out. The doctor proceeded to dig into my nipple to pull out a drainage tube that I didn’t even know was in there. Ilikua ka zile matiti hukua on ‘Botched’ on E!

I cringe every time I remember because I get the exact feeling. Ni ka mse aingize kidole in your insides aanze kuvuruta vitu.

I was put on more medication and after a shower and breakfast, I went back to my bed.

It felt lonely. No one came to see me because I told my mother not to tell anyone. I dread pitty. 
On the day I was being discharged, I was so happy to see my mother and brother. I couldn’t walk though, I don’t know if it affected my balance, but the pain was surreal.

I was wheeled to the car after my mother was given instructions on how to handle me post-surgery.

I just wanted to know if the tests on the lumps showed if I had cancer or not. No one was telling me anything. They said the test would take two weeks.
About two weeks later was when I cut off all my hair and went back to school. Say like a fresh start.

Those who found out started spreading rumours that I was dying and that I was extremely sickly. They would use the fact that I’d cut my hair off as ‘evidence’. On Facebook, others would message me to say mean things and although it didn’t get to me, maybe it’s got to someone else who is really being segregated for the sole purpose of being different or having an illness the cannot suppress.

I didn’t understand how mean someone could be. I don’t recall ever treating people badly but anyway, I got over it.
I keep telling you guys that I’ve got such a strong support system. I’ve got legit friends and family that sticks by me regardless… Maybe someone else doesn’t have that.

I recovered and my scars are something I’m actually very proud of right now.
Well, I know no disease is pleasant, especially if it’s rendered a death sentence. It takes so much out of you. You cry. The pain is so much and the psychological torture is even worse.

                              ~xx~
Today, I’m sharing my story because I want you to help. Let’s help cancer patients where we can and not just on cancer awareness month, let’s help them whenever!

I’ve been to Kenyatta hospital, Nairobi,  and I’ve seen how much pain they are in. The treatment process is nothing to joke about. 

Want to know an easy way to assist them? 

DONATE TO CANCER AWARENESS FOUNDATIONS.

An example is the Kanini 4 Africa Foundation by Janet Kanini Ikua whereby funds go towards cancer patients’ medication  (In Kenya). You can as easily Google foundations near you and donate towards them. Today it’s me, tomorrow it might be you. I’ve seen how Cancer drains resources, so imagine the unfortunate who sleep on the streets but require medical attention…

I can say I relate because I’ve got an aunt currently undergoing chemotherapy for ovarian cancer. I see her tears. I see how hard it is and it kills me sometimes knowing I cant do much, the best I can offer is emotional support by keeping her happy. She loves smiling, but beyond it all, I know there’s so much pain.

Offer the victims support, do not damn them to condemnation or talk about death.

If you are going through cancer, try and stay positive, just know it gets better and you are loved. You’re going to make it out!

I was watching this last night, thought I should share…

https://youtu.be/u9s_P02XtcY

Spread the word people !!! 

Go get checked as often as you can. Spread love and awareness.

Cancer isn’t the end. It gets better, I promise. 😇😊😊