Coincidentally, I just met with him 20 mins prior to settling to write this. I started laughing immediately I saw him because all this while, I’ve been asking for a sign, looking for my mojo. It’s been a bit harder to recharge my creative juices so as to start this up because I ended up immersing myself in work as opposed to dealing with everything else; so seeing Salim was the sign.

I have to describe him vivid enough for you to understand why this dick ruined my life for a while, then created a whole career for me. Pay attention.

XX

I met Salim when I was in my sophomore year in Uni and I can’t quite explain what drew me to him at first but immediately we had our first conversation, I knew I wanted to keep talking to him. Nilikua nimeshuka mat ndio naingia mtaa when he stopped me to say that he’d seen me around a few times and he thought I was extremely beautiful. I didn’t pay that much attention to boys those days and I’d only been in one other relationship before that tore me to pieces. That’s what I got for trying to love a ngga at 16.

 Salim was extremely funny and real, always very caring and insistent on making sure I was as comfortable as could be – which I saw consistently throughout the next few weeks that we got to hang out. He told me straight out the bat that alikua donda and he was just a young jamaa trying to make it and to be honest, I was extremely impressed! ; fascinated rather. I got curious.

He invited me over to his place a few months later for the first time, all this while, we’d cultivated a strong friendship and I was pretty confident in the bond. He lived not so far from me so I’d pop in to chill and watch movies after my classes when he wasn’t working…

 I grew up extremely sheltered and although I’d been around enough to know not to judge people, I’m embarrassed to say that I was shocked at the organization in his home – It wasn’t like you’d expect your typical (stereotypical definition of) a tout those days, where I lived especially. In fact, if he hadn’t told me that alikua makanga, I’d have assumed that he had a white collar job going on. This drew me more to him because I felt like not only was he able to be honest with me, but also intentional and responsible (btw hizi zote were my kiherehere. Bare minimum shit ilikua inanishtua bado at this point so you can all see how the bar is in hell, bear with me).

XX

On one Saturday night, months-deep into our budding friendship, he called me just as he was getting ready to return home from a night out to say that he’d love to see me that night. He said that he felt as if there was some kind of connection (They all read from the same book), then went on and on about how he couldn’t stop thinking about my lips and my pretty face… That my perfect boobs were all he dreamed of… that my kind heart was winning him over and he just couldn’t fight it any longer… he confessed his feelings for me and with each word from him, I grew more and more excited. I wasn’t sure if I liked him back yet, rather in the same way he did me, but I was willing to hear him out. So far, I felt as if I could trust him and this simply just almost cemented both our emotions.

 The whole period leading up to this day, Salim had really been patient. If someone ever suggested that he was scheming just to smash, I’d have got cross because to date, I haven’t met a more patient man that could hide his intentions that long. We would text all day and night and I could tell he was getting a little bit more interested in me than as a friend beforehand. Occasionally, I’d start to think about what it would feel like if he and I had sex with each other. He’d tell me about his sexcapades but my inexperience always led me to hold back because I didn’t have much to contribute to all conversations that were steered that way.

All these things he was saying definitely got me elated because I hadn’t heard them before. I’d never been told such by a whole male human that (I thought) genuinely cared for me. I felt like it was damn near impossible for someone to be so consistent in caring for me and showering me with sweet words and be lying. There was no way a man can say things he doesn’t mean, right???

I got off the phone with him after the SINCERE revelation of his thoughts and emotions towards me and I knew I had to make the decision. It hadn’t struck me once that he might have just been horny and I was conveniently awake for him to hit up, I really believed him and so, I changed out of my pajamas and after about an hour of me deeply thinking about if I was ready to fuck him or not, I texted him back that he could call me when he got home. Niliamua kumpea agware, hii kitu si sabuni, haiishi!

XX

 
He held my hand and led me straight to his room. It was the kind of tidy whereby one could tell he was expecting some pussy, the neatness was calculated. The room wasn’t spacious enough to accommodate a bed so we sat on the neat mattress on the floor as he went on with his stories from how his night out had been. It was about 2am on a Sunday morning when I got to his place that day.   I was both nervous and excited so when I noticed that with every hearty laugh, he would begin moving towards me I knew it’s definitely going down. Mechi ilikua inajipanga. I was, for most part of the time, shocked about his life experiences. He had gone through so much while so young, but there was something about his bad boy character that constantly pulled me into the conversations. I was engrossed! I enjoyed listening to him.

Besides that, he was getting hard. I could see the bulge in his pants pulsating. I could see he was huge and that scared me; I was having second thoughts at this moment but something kept tagging at my yearning for the knowledge beyond what I knew, sexually. He was a bit older and so I figured he had the experience we both needed especially since I was all talk no action. I didn’t know much.
He took my hand and placed it on his crotch then proceeded to fondle my tits. My tits were nice. Salt n pepper is what I named em. They’ve always been a sexual asset that I possess and I know he’d noticed them. I knew he liked titties and my first super power was having a nice rack.

XX

I was still trying to figure out what sex was so, inasmuch as I was trying to relax, everything was still awkward. I was scared shit of embarrassing myself.

We took our clothes off gradually as we continued to make out. I saw his dick and confirmed my worst fears. Nilijua ni mazishi. Champe alikua amebeba rungu kama zile naonanga tu blacked.com and before then, I had never see anything like it.

How was this Mandingo supposed to fit in my mouth? What was I gonna do if he asked for head?

The last time I had been that stressed before, was when my high school math teacher would call me to the front of the class to do a math question na I literally copied the whole thing from my smartass deskie because watu wakifanya assignments, I was probably somewhere sleeping or eating. The anxiety hits vividly as it matches my confusion of not knowing what to do. Alafu, the lady would jeer at us so as the whole class is laughing ju wanajua I’m always sleeping, I’m trying not to get insulted and embarrassed. It was tough 😂😂😂😂😂😂
I didn’t quite really understand how I was supposed to work his schlong, wacha ata kumpea head, sembuse kuma 😭😭😭 . Nilijua itabidi ararue alafu ashone, lawama badae.

I got so wet for him. I couldn’t tell if I was just horny or it was the fact that I found him extremely sexually attractive. Did I mention that he was as dark as I liked em; he played a lot of sports so he had a well sculpted-out dark chocolate- skinned body. Aiaiai! Salim made every piece of clothing look so good on him, but, he looked even better with nothing on.

 I was definitely hooked to the idea of having someone be so patient with me just enough to help me understand what these sexual feelings were. He had proven himself worthy so far. I liked how patient and kind he was, his friendship was something I had started to grow fond of and so when he called me that night, I knew he felt the same exact thing I had in my mind.
He began to finger me and that felt nice. It was better than the kissing and head at least, I think I just wasn’t that into him yet, or maybe the anxiety got in the way of me enjoying all that for a moment. It’s normal for me to be a bit uncomfortable at the beginning of every first encounter with the guys I date but as we go on the confidence just builds up. It’s something I didn’t know about myself yet so I was already beating myself up in my head for being those people who can’t walk their talk. I just froze.
I can’t say If this was an equivalent of the event whereby mjuols inakataa kustedi.
I lay there like a dead log. Flashbacks of scenes from math class and me trying to remember what people did in porn interchanging.

Then he did the one thing I had been begging the heavens not to remind him of. He asked me to suck his dick. Bruh!

Burungo ilikua kubwa design it couldn’t fit in my hands so naturally I only licked around the head and rubbed on his shaft. Looking back now, I’m grateful for not being aware of what deep-throating is because throat surgery nani angelipia ? (no honestly, say I decided to go out of my way for research just to have a worthy story for y’all and ended up needing a hip replacement, mtanichangia? I’m just trynna see something so let me know in the comments)

He lay me flat on my back after it was apparent that I was a novice, it was time. I was extremely insistent on the use of a condom at this point and he obliged. I’m not even kidding when I say that they kept tearing off because they just wouldn’t fit. I almost changed my mind when one could finally stay on and he was ready to fuck the life out of me.

The first thrust was not magical; It nearly took me out. He was trying to be as gentle as he could but the excitement was clearly taking over. Majamaa, this guy rammed into me and there and then was when I knew that I would never be able to walk again.

He fucked me.

Alinidinya yawa!

He was on top of me the whole time, missionary was the only way I was going to take this.

It took him approximately 17 seconds to cum, not that I was counting, but the strokes were definitely something I would never forget. He had grown-man tears clinging at the corners of his eyes. I had never seen a man look at me in such disbelief.

‘ile joto iko hapo ndani walai ingekua wewe ata hungeingiza kichwa tuu. Hii mali yako itaniharibia maisha…’ he said in an attempt to explain why he came so fast but he didn’t need to – I didn’t even know how long sex took but I was flattered some more.

He said my pussy was capable of destroying his life.

That it had so much power. He didn’t know what kind of awakening he stirred within me on that day. Power? I had that? In my vagina?  …

XX

He was passed out when I left.

Nilijitembeza kama penguin mpaka home, wondering if this was really worth it. Other than being crippled by the embarrassment of my underperformance, I had also been crippled by a whole fucking log that was posing as dick. I sat on my computer that morning and typed out, ‘ how to have sex with a man’. I felt it in my heart that I needed to show him that I wasn’t as useless as I had shown to be, I was going to ask for a rematch so I could step up.  Nilikua pia nashangaa what this hype about sex was because, was that what I was supposed to feel? It was something I could definitely live without because sasa surely, how was I going to explain that I couldn’t walk as I should because my pussy was on fire?

I knew I had left Salim in a similar state of embarrassment. I didn’t understand why he was so unapologetic about what just happened because the whole time, I was cringing at what I’d done or rather hadn’t done.

XX

I was just about to go to bed when I decided to leave him a risky text. I told him that I wanted to hang out again but this time, it would be different.

It would be different because I was planning on fucking the life out of him, he didn’t know that though. I went to sleep with my pussy as sore as a fresh wound. Karibu nimeze panadol.

I wish I knew what I was signing up for because Salim was a Luo man.

A tout.

A Luo tout.

Notice my emphasis because at some point in my story, this information shall be important.

XX

He replied my text about 5 minutes later saying that it would be okay to go over that night. I had a few hours to rest before niende either kubomolewa tena ama mimi niende kubomoana. I put my phone on silent and smiled to myself.

‘haha, huyu atanijua leo’

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