It was his eyes, his gorgeous eyes. They were maybe brown… close to green. And his body, his lean tall lanky well-chiseled body, his long torso and his huge dick that went all the way to his knees. I have flashbacks of him walking towards me after sex. He was ready for bed after drilling me for hours, in his grey sweats, his dick still bulging and his gorgeous body glistening with that after sex glow. I had just had the best sex of my life with this man and now he was pulling me closer in bed to hold me to sleep. This was everything I wanted, everything I needed at the time; his gorgeous hands embracing me as his beautiful fingers ran across my body. The endless kisses on my forehead all while he ran his fingers through my hair too.

I loved to smell him, his scent through my nostrils felt intoxicating. I was obsessed with the way he fucked me, the way he made me feel and the way he touched and kissed me all over. I wanted this to last longer than I knew it would.

It was his beautiful hair and his charming smile, the way he looked at me so lovingly and paid attention to detail. He always tried his best to love me in the ways I wanted to be loved, a sweet, gorgeous man with a long dick.

XX   

The first time I met Fernando, we were at a parking lot at the mall where I do my usual shopping. I wanted to meet him here because it’s a public spot and I was from a yoga class anyway to go do some window shopping. He was dressed in all black with a leather jacket, his long dark hair swept to one side of his face. He looked dangerous, the sexy kind.

He reminded me of Damon Salvatore, like my life could be in danger around him, but he would save me from it. I was intrigued especially by his height, he was super tall and had a shy sweet smile, sweet but sly.

Fernando is a super smart man. Extremely brilliant and absolutely full of depth. Looking into his eyes felt like looking into an abyss, like there was so much in a deep dark hole but his sweet smile and cute laugh made everything soft.

One of the major reasons I loved to be around him was because of how wise he was, he could always pull the most wisdom out of this abyss and it fascinated me. Dangerous. I wanted to drown in him out of curiosity at first, and then it started to become a need soon after.

We sat in his car and talked and laughed for about three hours that day and as time went by, I was warming up and the anxiety I had was subsiding. My girlfriend would not stop calling me because she knew I was going to meet with him for the first time that day, just to check if I was alive and kicking – the thought that goes into meeting people for the first time especially as a woman is just so taxing, when I picked up (and put her on loud speaker), she shouted, ‘Bro are you okay? Is he a weirdo?’ on repeat. I wanted to melt in my seat, but Fernando handled it so well, he had a sense of humor about it and that was a definite green flag. We laughed about it; he gets it.

When he touched my thighs to ‘feel the material of my yoga pants’ when complimenting me about them, I felt a spark go through my body. I felt it again when he touched my feet to see my Crocs when we were discussing them. I wasn’t sure what the spark was, static electricity? Ama the love of a thousand suns come to life to fuel the most passionate sexual chemistry that I had ever felt all my life?

XX

Fernando was smooth. The first time he reached out to me, he asked for my bank account and deposited some money. He definitely caught my attention with it, maybe he read it in my articles before when exes of mine did it too; or my tweets because I say it a lot that it’s the easiest way to catch my attention. I don’t really care that it was unoriginal by the time he was doing it, it’s what I like and it made me happy. He’s a generous man, a giver especially in bed.

He stayed consistent over the years with gifts every other week, his goal was my happiness. He loved to make sure I was comfortable and well taken care of all before he even got to meet me. An issue I had with this was that inasmuch as I felt his presence all the time, he was never really there; the man was like a ghost, like an imaginary friend that popped up occasionally. It didn’t bother me much because I was kind of used to men who enjoyed spoiling me for no reason, so it wasn’t anything out of the ordinary for me. My vetting process for the men I date exclusively is quite strict and this is what made him not make the cut for a very long time, he didn’t stand out.

He dropped me off at home that night after getting me some dinner and to be honest, I was left with more questions than before. I thought meeting him would answer a lot of these. Fernando is a very quiet man, exactly the kind that I love. He was soft and loved to shut up and listen.

XX

On our second date, he picked me up from dinner with my friends, and we had one of the best nights I had had in a long while. It was the danger in him, the thrill of doing things by him. It was the first time we kissed, and I left his car seat soaked. My body wanted him but my mind was always so unsettled still. I didn’t trust him because his words and actions hardly matched sometimes, I mean, what is material gifts to a rich man? What are material gifts to a girl who is showered with them daily?

I needed to see his heart to trust him and he was blocking me from it deliberately.

I’ve had a million dreams about him. Dreams of carrying his twins in my belly because he would talk about it… Dreams of fucking on the beach. Dreams of him cumming deep inside me then watching it drip down my thighs. The last one being a dream where his wife introduced herself to me, and I haven’t had a dream about him since!

A wife? Imagine if I found out he had a wife the whole time. And I found out about it through a dream?

On our third date, he came to me hours away, with flowers. A romantic scene, my kryptonite – a lover who comes to find me, a lover who cannot be without me. We almost fucked that day.

I wanted to fuck him because I was horny but I held out because I still wasn’t sure. There was something behind his smile that I’ll probably never figure out, something that showed me he felt the exact same way about me. Confused.

We fucked on the fourth date. It’s the last time I had sex too meaning we haven’t fucked again, probably won’t. I hope we do. I think about him a lot and I miss him.

I’ve had dreams about the things I want to do to him, like tie him up and fuck him mercilessly to punish him for being such a bad boy. Fuck him for days on end. Fuck him then care for him. Fuck him and let him breed me.

Reward horrible behavior like a mad woman.

I’ve replayed it in my head over and over how deep I want him to cum in me; like he wanted to. To feel the tension before a kiss again, to run about town in the middle of the night with a dangerous sweet man. ‘To have his babies’.

I’ve thought about fucking him again multiple times, scared to fuck new people because I might call them by his name, I might see his face on them. I was going crazy, he was sucking me into his abyss, bringing me along into a space where the sun don’t shine. I was drowning for real, becoming obsessive, missing him, wondering why he wasn’t coming to get me anymore; why he didn’t have time anymore.

It took me time to realize I was in the dark place he had been all along. He had me where he was, in a vast dark hole where thoughts of him consumed me. He was all I thought about, all I wanted. I wanted his dick inside me and I wanted the good memories to linger but the more we were apart, the more it all felt like a fever dream.

He showed me what the dark hole in his eyes felt like. Empty, abandoned and cold. I felt unwanted, rejected. I was going through exactly what he said he didn’t want to put me through, as if he already knew he would.

I was stuck in limerence. In love with a ghost that sent me fresh flowers every other week, no signed card.

I was in love with myself. In love with who I thought he was and how I would have acted if I were him. I was falling in love with my own expectations and projecting them on a man who just wanted some vagina. I got caught again! https://loveandorgasms.com/the-man-with-the-tattoo/

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