Love and Orgasms

I stumbled upon a tweet earlier this week that asked about ‘the first time I knew of sex’.

She truly is a star

Oh shit oh shit oh shit!

Olive is a goliath.
Breathing fire and shit.
She looked at me, then him, then me again.

Kyle has his fuck face on still. Bado anaskia dhidhi.
I want to laugh but his dick is in my oesophagus.  I cannot function.

Olive walks in and locks the door shut from inside. Her calmness is churning my insides.

At this point, her veins are protruding and throbbing at the top of her forehead,  then she tears the silence with a grumble.
“LEO NITAWACHINJA, NA MUJUE MI NI GAVA,  NAWAZIKA NA INAISHIA HAPO!!”
“Who the fuck is this? Huchoki??? Huchoki na tabia zako?? Who is she??” She asked a confused Kyle.

Come on you fool. Answer her!

And at that moment, it dawned on me that Kyle might not even know my name, that was why he always called me ‘Baibey’. 2 months of a heavy pursuit but he knew not even my name.
Yep, that’s it. This clown has no idea.

So I start thinking of how my friends will laugh at my funeral for the method of death I bestowed upon myself.

Olive walks to the bedroom. Remember she is in the army. Kyle is dumbfounded.

I’m thinking she’s gone for a gun, I start looking for my panty angalau mwili yangu ikipatikana watu wasione mafuthii.

“Kyle just how stupid are you? How do you bring me here and not lock the door?”

Kyle must be deaf and dumb.

A day in the life of a sidechick.

Lakini majamaa si mkue tu mnaambia mschana ukweli. I’m just a young girl, I had no clue. All these things are unfolding so fast before my eyes and I couldn’t even fathom what to transpire.

So this is it. It’s the end. This is how I die. A bullet hole or nine.

Olive walks back into the living room. A gun in her hand. Just what I expected

Oh how I wish she would have come back in lingerie, or better yet naked so we could all indulge in some make up sex.
All of you expected a threesome at the back of your minds right?

I don’t know whether you’ve been in a life and death situation before but I kid you not, the site of a gun that is in potential use of your demise is heart-wrenching. Your sphincter muscles collapse and your rectum conspires to give in to the pressure. You are basically in shit.

I lay prostrate begging for my life. I cried. I can promise you that of my over two decades on earth, never have I ever learnt my mother-tongue,  but trust me, I had all of a sudden become the most fluent tribeswoman in that room.
Kyle’s eyes were now bloodshot. The shock must have hit him harder than me.

“Tell her now or I will,” Olive screamed breaking the eerie silence, “tell her how you promised to stop doing what you do on condition that I remained your wife and kept my mouth shut!!”

Aye! I’m the one confused in the room now. What is it that you do??

“Tell her ‘else I’ll kill you in her face, right before I blow my brains out!”, her tone insistant.
Her hand is trembling. Her mouth is foaming. The gun is carelessly being thrown around the air as is her hand.

Kyle tells me that he has AIDS and so does Olive. He spreads the disease for fun by serenading clueless bitches with the charm and suaveness of an affluent man. ‘I do not want to die alone’ is his sorry excuse.
I heard nothing else after that.

My throat dried up as fast as my genitals did when Olive burst into the house.

A hearty confrontation ensues between them as I’m hurdled in a corner sobbing mercilessly. They are arguing over his infidelity and how he habitually and intentionally spreads HIV.
Yani nilipanda pikipiki nikuje kupewa ukimwi.

The commotion grows and after a few seconds,  I’m startled by a gunshot.

You see, I thought I was in a movie, this was all a bad dream. How is this all happening?

Olive has shot herself in the head.

Blood. A dead body.  HIV.

···~~¤ TO BE CONTINUED ¤~~···

Hey guys, I’m putting the story on hold for a while. Kindly check my pages for part 1 & 2 if you haven’t read them yet. I apologise for the suspense in part three as well as 1 and 2.
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God bless!

At this moment, my blood is boiling. Out of both anger and pleasure.  I’m confused.

Instead of squirting, I farted.

Okay, I’m just kidding.
I slowly lifted his head from my tender loins and as calmly as I could, asked him,
“Kyle who the fuck is that in the picture?  Holding you oh so lovingly? ”

He smiled, his face looking like he had dived nose first into a bucket of oil.
This beautiful smile.
Goddamnit I was gonna fall in love Kyle.

“Baby that’s my wife, Olive’, he said, coy, “she isn’t around, she works at the barracks. She’s works in the army so hayuko, relax.”

His fingers inside me. My eye was twitching.
I’m trying so hard to keep a straight face but this man is working on me thoroughly.
I should be mad.

Wife?

I wasn’t even hurt. I just laughed. Technically, Kyle had never lied that he was single,  I just assumed.
He had left out that he was married with kids. How convenient.
Fuck being hooked, having a wife is a whole ‘nother level.  I started to dress up when he began to explain himself.

It was 10pm. I had only ten shillings in my pocket as I had left my purse and phone in his car. No means of transport. No ‘okada’ in sight by then, I imagined.

Kyle had numerously gone out of his way to prove that he was madly in love with me and that he was dead-willing to die before quiting on me. ‘Lazima uingie box’ he would say. I believed him. I wasn’t in love but I believed him. This man would follow me on end. Something about his zeal let me hear him out and the day I finally agreed to give him my number, he took me out on a celebratory note. With cake and a thank you card and everything.  You just have to believe me because I know the level of absurdity this depicts.
Or rather, Kenyan men don’t do this. Ama they do??

So now I’m in his living room pants down listening to this fool explain why I shouldn’t walk out on him.

I’m lowkey staring at that D though.

Yani I’ve wasted another two months on another one. Gosh.

He was back at it. You see, thing about me is once I’m turned on, you need to finish the job. I heard nothing he said except an occasional sorry and tear stricken ‘I love you baby, don’t get mad,  don’t leave me…’ coming from him. All I could think about was the bulging of his member, right in my face.

I wanted to shove it in my mouth. Calm down woman.

We started making out again. I tried to fake a resistance so I wouldn’t look cheap and easy but what the heck, he didn’t care,  this man was willing to ask ‘how high?’ When I said ‘jump!’
Plus he wasn’t exactly using the head on his shoulder as of then. It had long been substituted for.

“Listen to me baby, have I ever given you a reason to not trust me?. Okay, put your clothes on. Let’s talk about this, I’ll explain myself. I don’t want us to have sex that will result in you feeling used…”

Nigga is you crazy? ? Clothes? Not today.
This time I’m the one that hushed him and shoved his shaft down my hole.

Yessss, give me that meat daddy! !
And ohh did he.
I remember I couldn’t stop screaming.

Yess I won’t leave you, Olive will need to learn to share.

What was I saying?

Good dick had a bitch agreeing to walk to china and back on her knees.

The living room was so steamy. Ok ok, I know this sounds stupid but he had some good love making music in the background and even dimmed the lights.
Kweli I’ve been dating the wrong people. But afadhali mimi, I hear there’s guys who bang you ka bado amevaa nguo zote hadi boots, koti na kofia. Ni fly tu hufunguliwa.

Wait for it,
wait for it…

If you think the dim lights is a lie, then you won’t believe the aromatic candles that he had lit prior to serving me a glass of martini down to the olive on a toothpick.
I know what you are thinking. Ii sio movie niliwatch.

Wengine wenyu huitikia coitus na watu ata hajakusaidia na glass ya maji.
This man had wowed me. Goosebumps on edge.

He was kissing my neck down to my tummy, his hands grabbing me in all the right places. Slowly thrusting. He was actually making love to me. I could feel the emotion from this man.

So we switched and I’m riding daddy like a bull matador, moaning as if my life depended on it, when the front door flew open.

Olive.

He always called me baby. I was his baby. Everything seemed so legit and fast and I couldn’t believe it. I had finally found a man who treated me the way I deserved, and he actually was serious about me. I would even laugh with him about the loser I was with when I met him, and he would tell me how it was all God’s plan. From a lying and cheating fuckboy who was always high on cheap vodka to a classy man who leisurely sipped on some Glenfiddich at his disposal.

It has nothing to do with money, but everything to do with class and how he treated me. He knew which doors to open, how to act in public. Oh Lord!!

He drove me to work when he could. And when I drove myself, or used public means, he would go as far as still surprise me by showing up to see me off. Dreamy yes?
On the days I’m not bragging about being independent,  I actually enjoy a man’s attention. It’s even more intoxicating when it comes from a man I want just as bad.

But you see, I still was not feeling him. No. I was sooooooooo tired of men I just needed space. It had been three days since I dumped Randy when Kyle professed his interest. He knew my relationship was on the rocks, and oh what a time to pounce on the vulnerable prey.

A shoulder to cry on is a dick to ride on. Sorry Randy. Lol

Kyle calls me on an hourly basis. Under normal circumstances, this would irk me because I’m a busy lady and to me it comes off as being too idle.
Considering he is a busy man as well, but always makes time for me, the constant calls are such a turn on!

On that day, he called to ask where I was so he could pick me up as we were going to have some drinks. I told him I was at the hair salon and he came. Oh Lord this man can clean up real good!! His cologne? Just thinking about his smell makes my lady lips throb. He walked me out when done and opened the passenger door to his compressor for me, as usual.

He said that plans had changed and we were going to drink at his place, he promised to have me home by 9, it was around 7pm.
I was a bit hesitant because I knew what he wanted. He wanted a nut and I wasn’t ready. Okay I lie. Damn right I wanted him to fill me up. The first time I saw his dick print, I fainted.
Okay, not literally but gaddmn, a brother is packing!! I immediately called my best friend and told her to speak some Jesus into me because I needed to control my lady.  I swear it has a brain of its own sometimes.

So now I’m standing at the car asking myself if I’m ready. He kisses my forehead, holding me against him, crotch on crotch, looks me right in the eyes and says,
“Baby please let’s go so we can spend time, I just really miss you and I… please? ”

You see?? He fucking knows what to say and do. Kisses on the forehead? Did I mention that on the days I couldn’t do lunch or dates he would pop up and beg me to on his knees?  No, not in a desperate way. In a sincere way. Hell this man is a chick magnet. I’m not even a lightskin but he worships the ground I walk on. So I thought, okay, even if he’s trynna smash, he has worked for it. 2 months isn’t enough waiting time. But Okay.

“Baibey lets use an okada. Let’s be a bit adventurous”

I asked him what an okada is. I thought it was maybe a drug idk.
Kumbe ni nduthi. Okay.
Mimi nipande pikipiki?
Sawa. Adventure basi. I accepted. So he parked his car at my house and we left.

We got to his place in less than 15 mins, he lives at an estate just around where I live. The apartments are beautiful oh my!
He held my hand all the way up the stairs, Kyle is just perfect.

HIS HOUSE!
bullseye, I’m marrying this man, I thought. Jk
For a bachelor, I’d have to say I was beyond impressed, his place was by all means more beautiful and organised than mine.
He knows my favourite drink is a martini,  he didn’t have to ask because he listens to me, plus he has everything in his mini bar. He served me, right before he went to get comfortable in some sweat pants.

Okay Jesus help me because just thinking about this… it, it makes me… si you know…

No warning, nothing, he came to my seat after changing. He took my drink away and started kissing my neck. I’m exploding,  his hands everywhere.. he was already taking off my pants. Oooooooooooooh I…I.

“Kyle lets not, I don’t know you that well and I’m not so sure…”
He hushed me and his head was already between my thighs using my legs as earmuffs. 

TMI?

My eyes rolled up to the back of my head and I almost swallowed my tongue. This man is heaven’s gift to me for all the years I put up with ne’er-do-wells. His tongue was like a potter’s hands on clay. Ooh the things it did to me!
I started tearing up because the pleasure was so immense, I was having an Oscar moment. I felt like I was about to start convulsing.
I call them epileptic orgasms,  where your soul leaves your body so your whole being just vibrates like a generator gone haywire. I was just about to scream his name and succumb to let my lady juices cream his face when I opened my eyes and the first thing I saw was a portrait of him and his wife…

And their two sons. Staring right at me. Funny I hadn’t seen it up until then.

Yes. Kyle has a family. Ata mi nilijua saizo.