At this moment, my blood is boiling. Out of both anger and pleasure.  I’m confused.

Instead of squirting, I farted.

Okay, I’m just kidding.
I slowly lifted his head from my tender loins and as calmly as I could, asked him,
“Kyle who the fuck is that in the picture?  Holding you oh so lovingly? ”

He smiled, his face looking like he had dived nose first into a bucket of oil.
This beautiful smile.
Goddamnit I was gonna fall in love Kyle.

“Baby that’s my wife, Olive’, he said, coy, “she isn’t around, she works at the barracks. She’s works in the army so hayuko, relax.”

His fingers inside me. My eye was twitching.
I’m trying so hard to keep a straight face but this man is working on me thoroughly.
I should be mad.

Wife?

I wasn’t even hurt. I just laughed. Technically, Kyle had never lied that he was single,  I just assumed.
He had left out that he was married with kids. How convenient.
Fuck being hooked, having a wife is a whole ‘nother level.  I started to dress up when he began to explain himself.

It was 10pm. I had only ten shillings in my pocket as I had left my purse and phone in his car. No means of transport. No ‘okada’ in sight by then, I imagined.

Kyle had numerously gone out of his way to prove that he was madly in love with me and that he was dead-willing to die before quiting on me. ‘Lazima uingie box’ he would say. I believed him. I wasn’t in love but I believed him. This man would follow me on end. Something about his zeal let me hear him out and the day I finally agreed to give him my number, he took me out on a celebratory note. With cake and a thank you card and everything.  You just have to believe me because I know the level of absurdity this depicts.
Or rather, Kenyan men don’t do this. Ama they do??

So now I’m in his living room pants down listening to this fool explain why I shouldn’t walk out on him.

I’m lowkey staring at that D though.

Yani I’ve wasted another two months on another one. Gosh.

He was back at it. You see, thing about me is once I’m turned on, you need to finish the job. I heard nothing he said except an occasional sorry and tear stricken ‘I love you baby, don’t get mad,  don’t leave me…’ coming from him. All I could think about was the bulging of his member, right in my face.

I wanted to shove it in my mouth. Calm down woman.

We started making out again. I tried to fake a resistance so I wouldn’t look cheap and easy but what the heck, he didn’t care,  this man was willing to ask ‘how high?’ When I said ‘jump!’
Plus he wasn’t exactly using the head on his shoulder as of then. It had long been substituted for.

“Listen to me baby, have I ever given you a reason to not trust me?. Okay, put your clothes on. Let’s talk about this, I’ll explain myself. I don’t want us to have sex that will result in you feeling used…”

Nigga is you crazy? ? Clothes? Not today.
This time I’m the one that hushed him and shoved his shaft down my hole.

Yessss, give me that meat daddy! !
And ohh did he.
I remember I couldn’t stop screaming.

Yess I won’t leave you, Olive will need to learn to share.

What was I saying?

Good dick had a bitch agreeing to walk to china and back on her knees.

The living room was so steamy. Ok ok, I know this sounds stupid but he had some good love making music in the background and even dimmed the lights.
Kweli I’ve been dating the wrong people. But afadhali mimi, I hear there’s guys who bang you ka bado amevaa nguo zote hadi boots, koti na kofia. Ni fly tu hufunguliwa.

Wait for it,
wait for it…

If you think the dim lights is a lie, then you won’t believe the aromatic candles that he had lit prior to serving me a glass of martini down to the olive on a toothpick.
I know what you are thinking. Ii sio movie niliwatch.

Wengine wenyu huitikia coitus na watu ata hajakusaidia na glass ya maji.
This man had wowed me. Goosebumps on edge.

He was kissing my neck down to my tummy, his hands grabbing me in all the right places. Slowly thrusting. He was actually making love to me. I could feel the emotion from this man.

So we switched and I’m riding daddy like a bull matador, moaning as if my life depended on it, when the front door flew open.

Olive.